Friday, December 26, 2008
Massah was happy we got this shot.
Not my present, of course (I didn't get any) but I managed to steal this one!
Scavaging for more.
My Christmas cuddle (I was lucky...).
My new fuzzy blanket! (okay, it's Massah's, but I'm sure she'll share)
Hope yours was great, too!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Yes, I did.
And yes, it's less than a week before Christmas. Massah said I am not getting ANYTHING for Christmas and I may be on the Naughty List for the rest of my life. She warned me to not even expect a Christmas cuddle or kiss. And I think she means it; this happened on Friday and she hasn't kissed me since.
Please don't think badly of me. Massah keeps telling herself that it's because I used to have to fight for my food, but she's getting tired of trying to convince herself of that. I promise not to do it again - as long as I never get a bone again!
For the details:
I was lying on the bed, eating a bone that I stole from Fig, when Massah came over to me. She bent over and kissed the top of my head, but I knew that she was going to take the bone away, so I STRUCK. And bit her. Two big bites and a few smaller scratches. I was in the literal and figurative dog house for quite a while. Still am in the figurative dog house, to be frank. I don't even know how to BEGIN making this right.... Any ideas on how to apologize? (Besides vowing not to poo in the house? I don't think I could give that up....)
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
I KNEW I smelled something on Fig's breath when she crawled into bed late at night! Leah was feeding her BONES while I was peacefully sleeping! I found Leah's garbage and was just nosing around when I found this! It is DISGRACEFUL!
Saturday, November 29, 2008
It is a GIRL'S SWEATER!!! With tassels!!!
Not manly at all! (look how far my tail is down!)
BUT - this is the WORST part. Guess who DID like it?!?!
Did you see her drag me around?!?! All over the room and under the bed and around corners?!?! Oh my dog. Someone save me.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
The last second twist-and-lick is always a classic!
And OMD - I had to show you a close-up of my face in this one!!!
Ha ha ha! Oh how I love Christmas time!
Monday, November 17, 2008
She also tried a video:
But I was willing to give kisses!
And one frame that could, on a bad day, be considered acceptable (mainly because it shows my beard!):
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Unfortunately I don't have anything exciting to share. Petra had her Gotcha Day this week... she put up pictures of her celebration. And despite what it look like, I was a PARTY ANIMAL - believe me. I got all crazy and was off the chain. Motch just caught me at the end of my caffeine high. And in case you forgot what I look like, here I am. My beard is growing out and I'm not letting Massah come near me with the scissors.
I hope to catch up with everyone soon; hope you're all staying warm!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
That means it is your opportunity to vote for Joe Stains and me, Tadpole Pomegranate!
Mean Sister Fig and I have been out canvasing the area, going door to door:
Putting signs up all over:
And answering questions from our constituents. What's that you ask?
Why yes, Joseph Stains and I will most certainly make it mandatory for everydog to get as many treats as they want, whenever they want!
Come on - who DOESN'T want that?! VOTE!!!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
It took me a while to learn how to do that, but it's So Much Fun! In this video you can see me better, but you have to put up with Mean Sister Fig for the first few seconds. Sorry. Hang in there, though... I make a GOOD big-boy pee pee towards the end!
Friday, October 24, 2008
7 Things I Plan To Do Before I Die!
1. gain 30 pounds
2. get paid for my job at the prison
3. make my nails stop growing so I wouldn’t have to get them cut
4. grow my chest hair out so it drags on the ground
5. win a game of tug-of-war with Fig
6. eat my weight in poo (in one day)
7. get elected
7 Things I Do Now!
1. make big-boy pee pee
3. eat baby carrots
4. pretend I don’t understand what “no” means
5. poo in the house
6. wear coats and sweaters
7. lay in Fig’s crate and lick her blankets
7 Things I Can't Do!
1. eat peoples food
2. bark like a big-boy dog
3. avoid baths
4. see out windows
5. sleep with anyone but Massah
6. ingest chapstick
7. open cupboard doors
7 Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex!
1. corduroy jackets (!)
2. small stature
3. a love for naked men
5. secure (to be with a slightly effeminate guy like me)
6. bicycles with baskets
7 Things I Say Most Often!
1. baby carrot?!
4. ride in the car?!
7 Celebrities That I Admire!
2. the Black Stallion
7. Carol Channing
Now... TAG! You're it!
Friday, October 17, 2008
I am giving her JOY! And truly, what better gift is there?!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
I have gotten some awards (yipee!) and I will get to them soon, but right now I'm kinda busy. We are getting ready to settle down for Monday Night Football and then Prison Break and then back to ESPN to catch up on what we missed of the Pixburg and Baltimore game while Michael and the gang look for Sylla.... It's gonna be a busy night.
I'm settling down on Massah's clean clothes fresh out of the dryer.
For some reason she won't let me sit on her chest while she's watch TV. Something about wanting to see something besides this:
Yes. I like to sit on people's chest and stare into their faces. So what?
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
However, she doesn't like to kiss me there because she says my breath smells!!! Can you believe it?!?! Jeesh! Just because I like to eat my poo shouldn't mean I miss out on kisses!!! But as a compromise, this is where she likes to give kisses:
So I don't know what to say. Is my favorite place where I'd LIKE TO get kisses, or where I DO GET kisses?
It's a hard question, no?
Friday, September 5, 2008
And one last one. A kiss for you!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Almost as handsome as I am, huh? Well, he shared some news with me. In his comment in the last post, he said -and I quote - "you won't even need to shave your chest!" WHAT?!?! Swimmers have to shave their chests?!?!
Why does this bother me so much? Let me share. Those who have been around a while know how proud I am of my exceptional masculinity. Wally T. even called me the "manliest dog on the internets" which I still repeat to myself every night before I go to sleep. Anyway, one of my most masculine traits that I am particularly proud of is my CHEST HAIR! Here a picture where you can see it in all its incredible glory:
Please ignore the mullet - that's why I never let Massah near me with a scissors any more, EVER. Anyway, did you see my chest hair?!?! There are so many manly chest hairs that I cannot even count them! There's probably 5 or maybe 7 of them?! Impressive, huh?! I have given it a lot of thought, but there is just no way I can get rid of those. So with great regret I must say: I respectfully withdraw my offer of assistance to the US Olympic Swim Team. I want to apologize to Michael Phelps especially, because I know he was really counting on the boost I would have provided. But rest assured I'll be cheering him on from my couch in the corn country.
Go USA! You can do it! Even without me there!