Thursday, June 28, 2007

Massah's turn now

Okay, this entry will be all about my girl. Her name is Massah. And I love her more than anything else in the world. Besides food. And baby carrots. And sometimes my toys, depending on my mood. Luckie tagged me in a new game - tell things about your humans. So here we go....

First of all, that is a picture of me and Massah. We sit like that every night. We're perfect together because I can sit on her lap and my head fits just under her chin, so I just cuddle up against her tummy. Boring stuff first - she's going to start a new job soon and I'm actually quite excited about it! She's a therapist and is going to work in a maximum security prison. She'll be doing substance abuse/addiction counseling and some mental health counseling. But here's the BEST part: I get to go to work with her!!! They have a program there where they teach the inmates how to groom and train dogs, so I'll get to go to work with her three times a week! I won't actually get to be with HER all day, but I'll go to work with her! How cool is that?! I can't wait! And now on to the exciting stuff.... Hmmm. Well, there's not much. She doesn't really do anything. Her time is mostly spent taking pictures of me and Mean Sister Fig, breaking up our fights, dragging me away from poo in the yard, and telling Fig to stop whining. I came up with a few questions for her last night and I'll transpose them here, word for word, with what she said. (FYI - each question will be preceeded by a picture of me, because it's my blog.)

Tad: What is your favorite treat?
Massah: Well, I like tapioca pudding, Sour Patch Kids, (Fig, NO. You may not have any more food. You just ate 20 minutes ago.) and Hardee's french fries.
Tad: My favorite is baby carrots.
Massah: Yes, I know. You love them, don't you?
Tad: YES! But I think I would like all those other things you said just now too, but you won't give me any of them.
Massah: I know. We're not going to get into that again right now, Tadpole Pomagranate.

Tad: Okay, what's your favorite word?
Massah: I'll go with "intuitive."
Tad: Why?
Massah: Because it's fun to say.
Tad: My name's fun to say too, isn't it?!
Massah: Yes, yes it is. And by the way, why did you choose to put that particular picture above this question?
Tad: Because it looks like I'm flying! And you can also see my eyes, and that way you won't try to give me another mullett!
Massah: Okay, next question.

Tad: Why were you afraid of the butterfly in our yard today?
Massah: Taddy, no one cares about that.
Tad: Oh, but they DOOOOO!
Massah: Fine. It's because they always try to land on my face.
Tad: I've never seen one try to land on your face.
Massah: Well they would if I wouldn't run away from them!
Tad: AAAACK! Butterflies that attack your face!!! Their wings are flapping against my skin!!! Their antennae are waving in front of my eyes!!! Someone get them away!!! God help us all!!!!!
Massah: That's not funny. You're going to give me a panic attack.

Tad: Okay, last question...
Massah: Hang on. (FIG! Get your face out of those blinds! That toy poodle is not an imminent threat to your existance! Stop barking! NOW!) Okay - fire away.
Tad: Are we ever going to get a dad?
Massah: Did Grammy tell you to ask me that?!
Tad: No....
Massah: You don't even know what a dad is.
Tad: I know, but they sound like fun! Everyone else has one and say they wrestle really good and give better tummy rubs.
Massah: This is ridiculous. No.
Tad: Okay, but she also gave me this coupon for EHarmony to give to you....
Massah: All right. This interview is over.


Sophie Brador said...

Tad! You're the next Barbara Walters.

I'm a little bit worried about you at the pen. You have to be very Johnny Cash about the whole thing and dis the water and warden. Then sing some songs. They'll love you!

Ruby Bleu said...

Hey Tad...
I'm not sure why, but my Mom is laughing so hard right now she's about to cry, no, wait, she is crying...and laughing!!! Not sure what is so funny...something about the last question.

I want to thank you...Lorenza tagged me with this game too and I wasn't sure how I was going to write about my Mom, but maybe I'll just interview her just like you did Massah...hope you don't mind.

Lots of Licks, Ruby

wally said...

Hahahaha! That's hilarious!

If you're doing Johnny Cash be sure to wear all black. I've got some fur I can loan you.


ps. What a brilliant interview in which you feature pictures of the interviewer! Well done!

Ferndoggle said...

See Tad? See why your my BFF??? Not only are you funny, handsome, stylish and have great hair...but you're the next Larry King!!! Excellent interviewing skillz.

your BFF,
(whose Mom laughed so hard at this she spit her soda all over her computer!)

Oscar Airedale said...

I love your interview technique, you definitely need your own chat show!

Cool news on going to work with mum!

Oscar x

Balboa said...

THat was so funny! Mommy laughed so hard she SNORTED LIKE ME DUDE!

You are so creative Tad! You are truly a cool dude.

Frenchie and mommy snorts

coco said...

tad, i am soooo excited for massah about the new job! i didn't know it was for sure until now, and to think you get to go to work with her is so awesome!!!! sometimes my mommy takes me to her real estate office so i can play with cindy the office manager, who does her best to make me misbehave and aggravate mommy.

but now i am worried about how far you 3 are moving away to. and how i might not to see you as often, and how hard it will be for all of you to adjust to a new home. bleh, i don't like that part of this deal very much at all.

anyway, you did a fabulous job at interviewing massah - you guys are hilarious!!!!!!!! i agree with lola about the larry king thing!!! you're a real star! but that's only one of the reasons why i loves you so much - after all you are my cuzzy and massah is my auntie, and i am so proud of you both. (ok, i loves fig too, even tho she fills me with fear and awe)

tails wags and body wiggles, coco

Joe Stains said...

tad you are a hard hitting journalist asking all those tough questions!!!

you guys are funny!

Lorenza said...

Hi, Tad.
Are you going to have a job?? Cool! I hope you enjoy it a lot!
You did a great job with Massah!
Like Ruby's mom, mine is also laughing about your last question. Grandamas always want to know, and you were the one who had to ask that!

Ferndoggle said...

Psssst! Tadpole. I didn't get your email. Can you try to resend it to ferndoggleblog at yahoo dot com or just ferndoggle at yahoo dot com?

Can't wait to chat with my BFF!


Frasypoo said...

tad my man....
That was hilarious!!
BTW You have a sharp looking bob!!
Well about the last question first the grammas want the husband and then they want a baby!!!(for their daughters!!)

Bruin said...

Haha that's a great interview Tad!!! You mom needs a dad you have anymore of those eharmony thingies????

Sitka and Tia's BLAWG! said...

Oh Super Interview Tadpole!!! Very well handled. I love how you tried to keep Massah focused!!


Quinvale AstaLaVista Baby said...

G'day Tad,

I hope you and Massah are careful in the prison. Maybe Figgles should go instead.

xxx Asta down under

Toby said...

OMD Tad, that was the BEST interview ever!! You are Massah are hilarious!!!

Ok, I got tagged last night, so I guess I better get my act together and think of something to ask Mom.


Asta said...

Tad, you're so much better than any interviewer I've ever seen, and lots better looking too...Dad's are nice, but consider this: you'll have to share your Mom more if you get one, so not necessarily a good thing.hhhehehehsounds to me like things are just pawfect at your house as is(xept for evil fig of course)
smoochie kisses

Lady Kaos said...

I love your interview Tad! That was hilarious!! Mom and I can't stop laughing!

Peanut said...

Tad your the bestest interviewer person I have ever read. I'm glad you get to have a job now it sounds exciting. Oh my mom says you shouldn't make fun of Massah and the butterfly's as mom knows what it feels like since she feels like that about frogs.

Luckie Girl said...

Oh Tad, you are a HOOT!! I love the way you handled this and yes, I can foresee you having your very own talk show. I can't believe you're going to work with Massah! How cool is that? You can earn some dosh to buy your own TREATS!!
PS : I love love love baby carrots and get them every night with my kibbles.

massah-in-law said...

hey tad, if ever you want some good blackmail just let me know and i can give you some juicy gossip relating to the eharmony/massah/possible-dad situation. next time i see you we'll have to have a private discussion far away from massah.


Hana said...

Oh Tad! That was a really good interview! As for getting a Dad, I heard from Copper that McDonald's has them, so you might try looking there for your Massah.

And, that was great news about you getting to have fun during the day with the inmates. Show them who's boss!!!

Hana said...

p.s. I should have pointed you to Copper's Family Revealing post....

Girl Girl Hamster said...

Oh what a fun interview. Massah's job sure sounds interesting.
What's EHarmony ??

~ girl girl

Suki said...

Hey Tad,
Not ALL Dads are great. Mine doesn't play with me, so I don't think you're missing out on much.

BTW, my Mom thinks you look a little like her, or maybe she looks like you, I don't know! But since your pic is from the side, she can't really tell :)

Puggy kisses

Suki said...

Haha! I totally said that all wrong, I can see why you were confused! LOL!

Puggy kisses

PiratesGrrl said...

Tad - I'd detour away from the Dad thing. You'll have to share her attention and then there might be little humans coming. Eek. Attention suckers if I've ever seen em.

We don't think you're like Larry King, you're more Anderson Cooper cute.


PiratesGrrl said...

Us again -

Next time your g-ma asks about a husband tell her your Mom will find one at her new job!!!

Stanley said...


You're not the only one without a dad. With Ruby, Sophie Brador and me, that makes at least 4 of us who come from 1-parent homes.

About the wrestling and tummy rubs, my girl does a mean tummy rub (never had anything to compare it to though) and sometimes gets down on all fours to wrestle around with me. I try to be gentle but she whips her pony tail at me & I can't help myself.

I should have known your Massah did something that helped people so directly! I could just tell.

How cool you get to go to work with her! Let us know if the prisoners are scarey or nice.

Good job, brother!

Your goober bud,

MJ's doghouse said...

wow should be a news are great at that job. i am with sophie on that..i could be a guest on your....when pit bulls turn good..something like that....and that bug in your head looooks grooooosss..poor little man