Friday, June 29, 2007

GROSS

Massah's worst nightmare came true last night. It was horrifying. Look at me:

See anything different? Like a black spot above my left eye?


No, I wasn't trying to be like my BFF Lola Sprout Beyonce who is a beautiful Diva with a spot around her eye. There was a BUG IN MY HAIR!!!


Massah about had a heart attack because there was NO ONE to get the bug out except HER! You should have seen her - bouncing up and down and squirming and trying to talk herself into touching it. She finally got 27 kleenex together and wadded them up and tried to pull it out. Of course, the wad was way to large to grab anything that miniscule. But she kept trying for about 10 minutes. And the bug kept crawling closer and closer to my skin, trying to get away from the massive amount of kleenex that kept attacking it, and then Massah started panicking because she thought it might be a tick and it would attach itself to my head and then she would have to spread peanut butter all over my skull to kill it and Mean Sister Fig would try to eat me and I would try to eat myself too because we love peanut butter and then she started HITTING me trying to kill the bug before it started sucking my blood out of my brain. After that I don't know what happened next because we were ALL panicking because Massah was smacking me with the wad of kleenex and Mean Sister Fig was alarmed because it looked like Massah was losing her mind and I was going CRAZY because she was simultaneously trying to pull out my hair and smashing my brains in.

But she finally got it, as you can see. She was so proud of herself. I honestly don't know how she survives here by herself. This just adds fuel to my Grammy's "find a man" plan for her.

29 comments:

Ruby Bleu said...

Blah hahahahaha hahahaha. My mom is that way with mices! Whew...thanks dogginess it wasn't a tick. that would have been nasty! I hope you and your Mom have recovered...I don't know how my Mom survives without me either...she's useless by herself. LOL

Lots of Licks, Ruby

PS - is it true what Coco said, you pups are moving for Massah's new job? Are you ok with that?

wally said...

Oh nooooooooooo! I guess it's nice to have white fur so they don't have camoflage like on me!

Was it a tick? I'm glad it didn't suck your brains out. I think that happened to my sissy (ahahahaha!)

Your ma ape doesn't need a man--she's got YOU and surely your machismo is enough for any lady!

wally.

Balboa said...

I think my mom would have reacted exactly the same. When I get ants stuck on my lip she goes into a full panic as if the ant was twice my size.

Thankfully she stopped smacking your brains and all is well.

WHOA! that is nice for Massah's job but I hope you and Fig will have a computer where ever you go.

Frenchie Snorts
Balboa

Toby said...

Oh no, was it a tick??? I hope Massah isn't too traumatized over the whole ordeal. How are you holding up?? Too bad we don't have fingers huh? We would just pick the darn thing out ourselves. But no, we have to watch them freak out!!!

27 pieces of Kleenex huh?? Wow, your Massah is worse than my Mom... (and she's pretty darn bad).

Hey, is your mean sister Fig gonna make fun of you over on her blog again?

Tobes

FleasGang said...

I think grammy might be on the right track. It does kinda look like a tick though. Seriously.

The FleasGang

hershey the doglet said...

tadpole, i love your blog...(adding it to the rss feed right now)!!!! you are very very funny! i have never had a tick, it doesn't look like fun. my mom has had to take one off her old dog and she says it was really gross and it freaked her out! good job massah!

Peanut said...

Looks like a tick to us. I'm glad Massah got it and didn't smash your brains in. My mom can pull ticks out of us no problem but she freaks out if she sees a frog.

coco said...

maybe if she had only used 26 kleenexes (instead of 27) she would've had better luck?!?!?! too bad the bug didn't just walk across the floor like the one i ate the other day. that freaked MY mommy out - she was trying to kill it but i saw it first and beat her to it! it wasn't very good, though, so maybe i'll avoid that move next time.

anyway i hope everyone's calmed down at your place by now. and that grammy doesn't hear about this and start her harping about how you all need some man to make your life better. that's silly - massah is smart and strong and beautiful and so what if she's scared of bugs?! a man - hmph! girl power!

Asta said...

Oh my dog Tad,
Ithink I'm going to split a gut I'm laughing soo hawd twying to pictuwe Massah, she does need a man, hehehehehehhehehehehehehhhhhhh,
I don't mean to laugh,cause it sounds awfulscawy for you, getting your bwains bashed in and being attacked by a bug,fig and Massah all at once..it's a wonder you suwvived..hewe is a BIG smoochie kiss for you MUWAHHHHHHHHH
ASTA

Lady Kaos said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!! When I started reading your post all I could think about was your interview with her. She's going to give you head trama if she does that every time there's a bug on you! OR she'll pull out all your hair!!! She definately should look into the Dad thing, Dads are really good at killing bugs without causing any damage.
Good luck!!
Kaos

PiratesGrrl said...

Mom can't stop laughing since she read this!!! Thank Dog you weren't knocked unconscious!!

TBP

PS What kinda bug was it?

Joe Stains said...

oh boy tad, that sounds like quite an eventful evening!!! um, how come your mom is so scared of weeeee little bugs??

Ferndoggle said...

Thank you Tad! Now the whole world will know how to address ME!

That bug was almost the size of your WHOLE HEAD!! Massah is very brave to *only* use 27 kleenexes! I'm glad she got it before it ate you alive!!

BTW, my Mom says we're now official BFFs because I sprayed the whole house with Diarrhea last night! I tried to tell Mom I was just trying to get in touch with my inner TAD, but she's now worried I have an angry pancreas & thinks I should send mine to anger mgmt classes! Sheesh. She just doesn't get it.

Your BFF,
Lola Sprout Beyonce

Lorenza said...

Hi, Tad.
My mom is still laughing having the image of the whole ordeal!! Sorry your Massah hit you... maybe she thought it was the best way to get rid of that bug!
Once I had a tick in my tummy and my mom tried to take it off using a lot of kleenex too. She made it but she almost took my skin off too! I know that was not funny!
Have a good night
Lorenza

Sophie Brador said...

Was that a tick? Oh man. I'm totally with Massah on this one. I'm getting itch just thinking about. Does peanut butter really kill ticks? Good to know.

the in-law said...

be glad she didn't shove you in the shower and try to drown the bug with water!!!

ToFFee said...

hahahaha!

I think that's vewy funny!

I also like that interview with your mum! is that a Tag game? guess I have to wait till I'm tagged so I have an excuse to expose my pawrents!

Daddy is the same..if he sees a bug in the room.. he doesn't freak out but he looks at me as if I was the carrier of the bug..

Wuffs!
Toffee

Luckie Girl said...

Hey Tads,
Gosh, Massah sure is brave. I bet Fig was probably afriad she was going to be next in line for that head banging and kleenex thingy! 27 isn't too many..Mom said she would have used 30!!!

Stanley said...

Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ha haaaaaaaaaaa!

Too bad there's no video evidence of your TOTALLY CRAZY MASSAH! But hey, she's growing. She go the bug in the end, right? WAY TO GO, MASSAH! We're so proud of you (*eyeroll*).

Goober love to all in Tad's pond,
Stanley

Frasypoo said...

That looked like a tick...Tell her some tweezers would do the job really well.And if she can get some used in surgery(they are really long)then they work well.
My mom gets some perverse pleasure from digging them out and flushing them in the loo!
Frasier

Quinvale AstaLaVista Baby said...

G'day Tad,

That looked like a nasty old tick to me too! I'm glad Massah worked up the courage to get it out. Tweezer's do work better than a box of Kleenex.

xxx Asta down under

Anonymous said...

Tad, this is grammy. I still hold to my opinion that Massah needs a man to help her with you guys. Not only that...but just think what some guy is missing by not having her to love. She is beautiful. (inside and out), talented, and oh so sweet! Even if E Harmony is the only way.. I stand firm ....and I am waiting!

JustMeCopper said...

I am glad your Mom got the bug out of your hair. I know the 27 kleenexes helped.

I found your blog just now by reading that Luckie's Dad has been where you live. But I can't figure out where you live. Where do you live?

Bernard Hinault Lilje said...

Tad--

I would have taken one for the team and ate him for you! I love eating bugs-- all sorts of bugs-- I even fight with my cats over them.

Bernard

The Airechicks said...

Tad

Massah needs to go to the store and get some longhandled TWEEZERS..

Looked like a tick to us...

Who's to say "The Man" wouldn't have BEHAVED worst....

Stock up on tissues....cheaper than a man...

Ume said...

hi Tad,
hope u not gonna get phobic whenever Massah grabs a wad of Kleenex. yup, tweezers would do the job nicely, tho my Jiejie is veri capable of pulling out the bad bad ticks with her bare hands, n derives perverse pleasure in killing them, juz like Frasier's mom!
P.S does peanut butter kills ticks?

Oscar Airedale said...

At least she didn't vacuum your head, that's what my mum uses to get bugs!

The mental image of you 3 while Massah was killing the bug is too funny!

Licks
Oscar x

Bella the Boxer said...

Hey Tad, glad your Mom got that big, bad bug. But tell her that your Grammy's "get-a-man" plan is flawed because here in our house, Mom catches the bugs while Dad runs away!!

xoxo - Bella

Hana said...

Ew! That does look like a tick! I'm so glad you got it out of your fur! Tweezers actually aren't good to use if the tick has already embedded itself because then you end up squeezing yucky stuff into your own body. You gotta go to a pet supply store to get the tick removal tool. My Mom actually carries one around in her purse, just in case... one never knows when one is gonna find an embedded tick.

Well, looks like you guys gotta do a tick check in your bed before you hop in.