helping paws

Motch and P.A. are on Vay-K-Shun, so while they are gone Mean Sister Fig and I decided to help out with the housework. We started with their bed.

Massah wasn't expecting us to pitch in, and boy was she surprised! She said "Look at what you did!" and I could tell she was impressed!

Not only did we arrange the comforter, but we also scrunched up the sheet and shoved the pillows around! It didn't take us very long, either! We're a pretty good team once we decide to cooperate and work together!

Massah called me over to the side of the bed and asked me, "Tadpole Pomegranate, what is wrong with this picture?" I look around...

And couldn't find a single thing wrong with it!

I'm still quite unsure as to what she was referring to...?!

a pressie!

What is THIS?!

A pressie from RUBY!!!

It's a card with HER PICTURE on it!!! She's a model too, just like ME!!! (thanks for the shout-out, Joe and Tan-man!)

I listened very attentively while Massah read it to me....

She is so nice it made me blush. But then I dug into the presents - I got my very own tootsie roll! Woot!!!

And we also got this dead cat frisbee! I threw it into the air lots and Mean Sister Fig played tug with it a lot!

Did you see something different about me in that last picture?!?!?! Did ya?!?!?!?!??!?!?!? I'm wearing my NEW SHIRT that I got from the lovelyMs. Ruby Bleu Cube!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's a video of me getting dressed. I'm a little "wormy" because I wanted to play with my tootsie roll, and I didn't understand how dapper I'd look in my new sweater, so I was kinda trying to get away. I'm never this uncooperative when I get dressed....

I'm going to put ALL the pictures up that Massah took of me... you know how they sometimes post the "outtakes" from a photo shoot? Well, here are mine:

This is Massah's favorite, even though the lighting is pretty washed out....

I'm all ready to go to work with Massah! I think I over-heard her talking about me starting NEXT WEEK sometime! I'm READY now!!! But today I'll leave you with a picture of me and Mean Sister Fig. She got something from Ruby too, and the picture is a tease of what she'll be talking about on her blog in the next day or so:

THANK YOU RUBY!!! You're beautiful and give splended pressies! Merci beaucoup!

preparations

I didn't get a costume for Lola's pawty, since I was traveling for such a long time due to my lack of directional understanding (i.e. I got lost...). But - I have a cowboy hat for Asta Baby's pawty!

It even has EAR HOLES so my manly, hairy ears can poke through!

Are my cousins Coco (and Sophie) cool; they gave this to me for my Massah-versary too! And of course, I have my red banana from Stanley to wear too!

I'm gonna look GOOD! Woot!

I'm traveling!

Well Massah has been completely ignoring me because she's "so busy" with her job. Poo on her. So - I decided to get in my taxi and drive myself to my BFF Lola Sprout Beyonce's house in Pixburg. I left a few days ago and got lost a few times, that's why I haven't been on the computer. But I just kept stopping and asking directions, and I'm almost there now! I should be in time for the pawty tonight! I'll update with more of my adventures, but I have to get back into my taxi for the remaining few miles.... I'll see you all tonight!!!

ANOTHER present!

We are so late at getting this posted! Massah is sorry! But I got a great Massah-versary present from my cousins Coco (and Sophie)! First of all, they wrote me a letter:

Isn't it colored beautifully?! And look at THIS wonderful new creation!

It's a soft frisbee, and it has a huge grin on its face! :-)

I love it and I'm having so much fun with it!

It's MINE and that means Mean Sister Fig can't have it! Yippee!

AAAAANNNNNNNNDDDDD.... the most glorious, special present of ALL the histories of glorious and special presents!!!! LOOOOOOOOOK!

Oh my dogness it's my very own TAXI so I can go and visit my BFF Lola Sprout Beyonce ANY TIME I want!!!!! Now, if I can just figure out how to get into this thing....

It's slightly confusing - and harder than I thought it would be. But I have good motivation - look closely at part of the letter I've enlarged:

WHAT?! I haven't seen this HAT yet?!?! If Massah pulls something resembling a HAT out of that bag, this is all she'll see of me for a while - the BACK of my TAXI as I drive away to PIXBURG!!!!!

THANK YOU so much, Coco and Sophie!!!!! You're the besterest cousins in all the world, far and near!!!

awards and scares

I have so many things to get caught up on here! I'm working on the game Casper tagged me for, but in the meantime I got this from Poppy!

Isn't that awesome? She is such a sweet little chihuahuahuahuahua! And she has a name that makes me think of lots of nicknames for her, like Poppy Drop, Poppy-cicle, Poopy Poppy, Pop Pop, Stop Poppy and Roll, and lots of others! I want to pass this award on to Wiley and Fievel, if they haven't already gotten it from someone else! I can relate to Fievel (with a crabby older sibling) because I eat the green stuff off tennis balls too and it makes Mean Sister Fig mad at me.

ALSO, a few people have asked about when I will start me job. The short answer is: I don't know! Massah is still doing training (I hope she learns faster than I did in my training!) and so it will probaby be a couple weeks before I show up and start changing people's lives. Because I'm sure that's what I'll do - no one will be the same after meeting ME! Massah says no one's ear drums will be the same after meeting me, but she's just jealous. Not everyone can have such a healthy set of lungs like I do. Don't hate, Massah.

Anyway, I leave you today with a special presentation. This is actually a reality horror film that Massah-in-Law caught on tape as it happened. This is not a reinactment! Watch carefully as Big Dog, AKA Banjo, tries to kill me! First she sneaks up behind me as I try to go in the house, and then she attacks me when I get off the steps! She keeps lunging at me like she wants to eat me for dinner, and even rolls over ON HER BACK to put me off my guard before running behind me again and going in for a taste. I feared for me life! My tail is tucked WAAAY down between my legs I was so scared! I think she's a cannibal! I barely made it out of there alive! (note: this video is not for the faint of heart!)

Please don't be too terrified - it turns out okay. I escape by the skin of my teeth and safely make it back home. Big Dog is evil, and if you see her, please PLEASE be careful. She tries to disguise herself as Amber, but don't be fooled! Contance vigilance!

HELLO AGAIN!!!

Oh my gosh hello doggins did everyone think I was gone?! Well I'm NOT - I'm back! Lots of things have been happening, but I think everything is calming down now (including my angry pancreas) so YAY! Massah started her new job and that means she has to WORK instead of playing around on the internet all day long. Boo. But I'm going to start making her help me in the evenings now - hopefully I'll catch up on everydog's lives in the next couple days! I'm sure you want to see pictures of me and what I've been up to. Motch put this in my hair the other night. *sigh*

This is what I thought about it.

I guess it's better than getting my hairs cut off.... At least this way I can get it out pretty quick.

I'm off to visit everydog now!

vet'narin report

Well! Things started off bad and got worse from there! Massah came home early and took me to the vet'narin. Of course, the first thing they do when we walk in the door is put me on a scale. Fine. That's to be expected. However, WHY DID THEY HAVE TO TELL MASSAH THAT I GAINED A POUND?! I obviously know I gained a pound since moving in with Motch - she feeds me more than my allotted 1 cup a day, thank goodness! - and I don't care if they write it down in their little charts, but why OH WHY do they have to tell HER?! That's just going to make her watch my feeding times like a hawk. Totally unnecessary. After THAT fiasco, they stuck nasty things in my private areas, and then told me "it's normal". OF COURSE it's normal - I could have told them that without all that drama! Then they restrained me and stuck torture devices in the back of my neck to "hydrate me" or some such bullocks. I think it was a form of Chinese Water Torture. I'm Chinese, they shot water under my skin, and it sure as heck was torture - isn't there some law that makes Chinese Water Torture a felony?! And then they gave me another shot on top of that. And medicine to take (but I get that in cheese, so I'm just complaining on the principle of it - I don't mind the cheesey meds). Needless to say I am now at home POUTING. I will be fine, but not until Massah realizes how UNHAPPY I am about it all.

sad

I was kinda angry at that flea who bit me and gave me this infection, and now my pancreas is angry too. I mean, it's very nice that my pancreas is sticking up for me and taking my side, but I wish it wouldn't have. Massah and I did not sleep last night, and today she is taking me to the vet'narin. And that makes me sad. This is me looking sad:

Every part of me is sad, even my ear. See how it's turned inside-out in sadness?

update

After all that fun over the weekend, now I'm not feeling so hot. Evidently a mean old flea bit me the last time I was at the Dog Park, and I'm allergic to fleas, so that's not fun. I'm hopped up on Benadryl right now, Massah says, and I'll probably have to go to the vet'narin to get a shot to make the infection go away. I don't like going to the vet'narin... they always steal my blood and stick foreign objects into unmentionable places, as you well know. BUT, I got two special presents for my Massah-versary that make me feel much better when I look at them! Oh no... I can't show you the one that Balboa sent to me! Darn Blogger problems. I'll try to show it to you tomorrow. But I CAN show you what I got from Asta Up Over!!!

Isn't it beautiful?! I like to pretend that we're kissing in that picture and not just hugging each other....

Massah-versary Celebrations!

Hello my friends! I'm sorry I've been MIA for a while, but I've just been having too much FUN! And Massah is staying home from work today too, just so we can continue celebrating my Massah-versary! She said it is a Holiday?! I can't believe the United States decided to make MY Massah-versary a National Holiday?! She said it is called Labor Day?! It must be French for The Day of the Anniversary of Tadpole, I think! And that means everyone else that lives here gets the day off to celebrate it too! How exciting! I hope everyone has a wonderful time parting in my honor! Beg for some extra treats! But I also have pictures! First of all I got a new collar!

It's very manly, don't you think? Big and blue and striped! I like it (can you tell?!)!

I also got a squirrel toy thing, like Joe and Tanner got. This is the only picture we have of me and the squirrel because Mean Sister Fig steals it every time I try to play with it. Don't let her tell you she's having a bad weekend, by the way - she's stealing ALL MY STUFF and playing with it herself!

I also got a chewy FISH! Fig said that Tanner got one of those too and that I might be turning into TANNER! How FUN is that?!?!

WHATSSSSSSUPPPPPP?!?!?!

And look who stole that TOO!

Massah said I have MORE presents today, too! So I'll show those to you when I get them! AND, I got two VERY special presents, one from Asta Up Over and one from Balboa - I can't wait to show those to you! But for now I'm resting up... it's pretty exhausting to have everyone giving you presents and belly rubs and ear scratches all day long!

WOO HOO!

IT'S MY MASSAH-VERSARY!!!!! (thanks to Ruby and Stanley for the choice of terminology!) This is going to be the best day of my entire life - look at how it STARTED!!!!!

Motch was cutting up some WALLYMELON and she GAVE SOME TO ME!!! Massah was even there and didn't yell at her for doing it! And then guess what happened?!?!

Massah called me over and...

Massah gave me some HERSELF!!!!! All of this was for MEEEEE:

Oh joy of all joys! Watch me gobble it up!

This was just the beginning!!! I can't IMAGINE what will happen the rest of the day!!!!!