Monday, May 5, 2008

what you all've been waiting for

I once again apologize for my lack of blogging. And once again it's Massah's fault. But I can't be too mad at her... she's a counselor at a maximum security prison, so I suppose it's stressful. And she says that when she's stressed she can't sit and take down my dictation, and since the whole lack of opposable thumbs thing, I'm left bereft.

Unfortunately I have a VERY short attention span and don't specifically remember what my press conference was supposed to be about. However, I DO remember that I was called upon to apologize for my behavior. So in order to cover all my bases, here we go:

I'm sorry for
* making poo in the house
* eating said poo so you didn't know I made poo in the house
* taking undergarments out of the drawer on a daily basis
* strewing aforementioned undergarments around the house
* stealing Mean Sister Fig's food when no one's watching
* pretending I don't understand English except for the words "food" and "treat"
* biting Mean Sister Fig (okay okay, it happened and I'm sorry)
* making big-boy pee-pee on the rocking chair
* screaming at the top of my lungs at 2:00am and causing massive heart attacks throughout the building
* making more poo in the house
* scrounging around in dirty clothes until I find chap-stick in the pockets and then eating it
* sleeping in Mean Sister Fig's spot so that she gets annoyed and angry
* eating styrofoam cups
* sticking my tongue up Massah's nose at ungodly hours in the morning
* never once obeying an order in my entire life
* taking all my toys into Leah's room so that she steps on them and yells

Well that was cathartic. Hope everyone's having a good day; Massah stayed home from work today and I'm hoping we'll get to go for another walk around the lakes. We went for one earlier and I met another Crestie! His name is Sidney Bean and he's my age and he's half Shit-Zhu but he's naked like me except he has very dark skin and brown hair and we like each other and maybe we'll have a play date some time! I'm thinking I should confess my sins more regularly and Massah should stay home from work every day and then everyone would be happy all the time!!!


Petra said...

* biting Mean Sister Fig (okay okay, it happened and I'm sorry)

I can sense that the apology is coming from your heart so that we can put our faith and trust back in you, Mr. future President.

Sidney Bean sounds like he'll be a good friend; I'd like to meet him!

Anonymous said...

Tad, well it is about time use said use were sorry, I weally hopes use means it from the bottom of use little Crestie heart. I've missed use tell Massah to try and blog at least once a week we all miss use and Fig.
Love, hugs, bellyrubs, smoochies

Mack said...

Wow, you really had a lot to get off your crestie chestie.

You never obeyed a command? Ever?

You Rock Taddy!

Ruby Bleu said...

OK, OK, I guess you are forgiven...I'll still vote for you and you are still my most favorite Taddypole EVER!!! W00T!

Lots of Licks, Ruby

MJ's doghouse said...

okay my mom has been very sad the last couple days...she is missing now your post of your adorable mug made her smile..thankyou tadpole...

Lorenza said...

Hi, Tad!
Sure you had lots of things to be sorry about!
I am sure you feel better now that you get them out of you!
Sure it was nice to meet Sidney Bean!
Kisses and hugs

Amber-Mae said...

Wow, that's a looong list of apologies...I think we all can forgive you. No problem.

Love licks,
Solid Gold Dancer

Joe Stains said...

woah dude, talk about a confession. I am a firm believer in honesty, so this is a good start. Nothing else in your closet??

Huskee Boy said...

Well Done Tadpole.. (gee, I thought you'd only apologise for one or two things.. never expected you to own up to a whole string of them!!)

Ferndoggle said...

I'm glad you got everything off your manly chest. But Don't you go getting another BFF, TP!!

Lola Sprout Naomi Campbell

Peanut said...

I still don't think you needed to apologize but if it made you feel better. Tell Massah naps help with stress :) So does yelling. Sidney Bean sounds like a cool dog and I'm glad you met him.

Lady Kaos said...

Tad, there is no way I can stay mad at a face like that!!!! You're way too cute!!
There's a BUNCH of prisons around where I live! Whenever you hear about Canon City, Colorado or Fremont County in the news it's because of something to do with the prisons here, especially the big federal prison in Florence (about 30 minutes from us). Mom has a firend who is a councelor at one of the prisons and she's always tired so we totally understand. As long as you give us an update once in awhile and post a cute picture, we'll be okay. lol

wally said...

Dear Tad,

I forgive you.

wally t.

ps. Tell massah at least it is the CLEAN underwear that you strew about. I dont' know how the dirty unmentionables got all over the living room.

Stanley said...


Thanks for finally apologizing to Figgles. It's been a LONG time coming, but I'm glad you did it. That other stuff was all very revealing, and paints quite a picture for me of life at Casa de Tadpole!

Sidney Bean has GOT to be cool. He has the same middle name as Stella, so he can't be all bad. Keep us posted on potential playdates!

Goober love & smooches,