I once again apologize for my lack of blogging. And once again it's Massah's fault. But I can't be too mad at her... she's a counselor at a maximum security prison, so I suppose it's stressful. And she says that when she's stressed she can't sit and take down my dictation, and since the whole lack of opposable thumbs thing, I'm left bereft.
Unfortunately I have a VERY short attention span and don't specifically remember what my press conference was supposed to be about. However, I DO remember that I was called upon to apologize for my behavior. So in order to cover all my bases, here we go:
I'm sorry for
* making poo in the house
* eating said poo so you didn't know I made poo in the house
* taking undergarments out of the drawer on a daily basis
* strewing aforementioned undergarments around the house
* stealing Mean Sister Fig's food when no one's watching
* pretending I don't understand English except for the words "food" and "treat"
* biting Mean Sister Fig (okay okay, it happened and I'm sorry)
* making big-boy pee-pee on the rocking chair
* screaming at the top of my lungs at 2:00am and causing massive heart attacks throughout the building
* making more poo in the house
* scrounging around in dirty clothes until I find chap-stick in the pockets and then eating it
* sleeping in Mean Sister Fig's spot so that she gets annoyed and angry
* eating styrofoam cups
* sticking my tongue up Massah's nose at ungodly hours in the morning
* never once obeying an order in my entire life
* taking all my toys into Leah's room so that she steps on them and yells
Well that was cathartic. Hope everyone's having a good day; Massah stayed home from work today and I'm hoping we'll get to go for another walk around the lakes. We went for one earlier and I met another Crestie! His name is Sidney Bean and he's my age and he's half Shit-Zhu but he's naked like me except he has very dark skin and brown hair and we like each other and maybe we'll have a play date some time! I'm thinking I should confess my sins more regularly and Massah should stay home from work every day and then everyone would be happy all the time!!!