I once again apologize for my lack of blogging. And once again it's Massah's fault. But I can't be too mad at her... she's a counselor at a maximum security prison, so I suppose it's stressful. And she says that when she's stressed she can't sit and take down my dictation, and since the whole
lack of opposable thumbs thing, I'm left bereft.
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Unfortunately I have a VERY short attention span and don't specifically remember what my press conference was supposed to be about. However, I DO remember that I was called upon to apologize for my behavior. So in order to cover all my bases, here we go:
I'm sorry for* making poo in the house
* eating said poo so you didn't know I made poo in the house
* taking undergarments out of the drawer on a daily basis
* strewing aforementioned undergarments around the house
* stealing Mean Sister Fig's food when no one's watching
* pretending I don't understand English except for the words "food" and "treat"
* biting Mean Sister Fig (okay okay, it happened and I'm sorry)
* making big-boy pee-pee on the rocking chair
* screaming at the top of my lungs at 2:00am and causing massive heart attacks throughout the building
* making more poo in the house
* scrounging around in dirty clothes until I find chap-stick in the pockets and then eating it
* sleeping in Mean Sister Fig's spot so that she gets annoyed and angry
* eating styrofoam cups
* sticking my tongue up Massah's nose at ungodly hours in the morning
* never once obeying an order in my entire life
* taking all my toys into Leah's room so that she steps on them and yells
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Well that was cathartic. Hope everyone's having a good day; Massah stayed home from work today and I'm hoping we'll get to go for another walk around the lakes. We went for one earlier and I met another Crestie! His name is Sidney Bean and he's my age and he's half Shit-Zhu but he's naked like me except he has very dark skin and brown hair and we like each other and maybe we'll have a play date some time! I'm thinking I should confess my sins more regularly and Massah should stay home from work every day and then everyone would be happy all the time!!!