ah-hem

I am not sure if I was officially nominated, but it certainly was implied. So I'm taking it and running....

I accept your presidential nomination with a deep sense of humility. I accept, too, the responsibility that goes with it, and I seek your continued help and your continued guidance. My fellow doggies, our cause is too great for any single dog to feel worthy of it. Our task would be too great for any dog, did he not have with him the heart and the hands of this great International Doggie Party, and I promise you tonight that every fiber of my being is consecrated to our cause; that nothing shall be lacking from the struggle that can be brought to it by enthusiasm, by devotion, and plain hard work. In this world no person, no party can guarantee anything, but what we can do and what we shall do is to deserve victory, and victory will be ours.

The good Lord raised this mighty community to be a home for the brave and to flourish as the land of the free - not to stagnate in the swampland of collectivism, not to cringe before the bully of communism.

What does this all mean? To be perfectly frank, I don't know. But - I promise BULLY STICKS to everydog, along with mandatory belly rubs and smooches on the nose (or other comparable body parts) on a daily basis. This is the basis of my platform.

If you are a dog, you may vote. If you are a hamster, you may vote (but only for me). If you are a C-A-T, you may vote for me (if you don't constantly meow very loudly... that scares me). Color doesn't matter. Hair (or lack of) doesn't matter. Breed doesn't matter. Size doesn't matter. Weight doesn't matter. All that matters is if you want snackies, attention, and love.

I urge you, my fellow members of the International Doggie Party (which can be abbreviated I.D.P. which can also stand for I Don't Poo-in-the-house and can also stand for I Digest Poo-before-you-find-it-in-the-house) vote for me. I would like to ask the infamous Mr. Joseph Stains to be my Vice President, as well as my BFF Ms. Lola Sprout Beyonce to be my First Lady even though we are not married and are just Best Friends Forever and although she is beautiful I am not in love with her.

I repeat, I accept your nomination with humbleness, with pride, and you and I are going to fight for the goodness of our land. Thank you.



Note: Parts of this acceptance speech may or may not have been plagerized from the Presidential Nomination Speech Archives... I don't recall. (See - I can fit right in with all the other front-runners!)