Thursday, November 29, 2007

training update

I have been thinking long and hard about the Petra situation, and I think I am coming to a conclusion. I have a little more thinking to do and then I'll "come clean," so to speak, about what's really bothering me about her. But for now, I need to update everyone on what's going on with my job!



Besides the fact that is what I look like when I get home, I'm working hard. I don't have time to get into everything, so I'll give you the hightlights: 1) I have "manipulated" (as Massah says) my way into getting my very own RUG that my trainees carry around for me whenever we go outside, so that I don't have to sit on the cold, cold grass. I'm very proud of that accomplishment. 2) I have also found that by screaming VERY VERY loudly, I am usually allowed to stop doing whatever we're supposed to be doing (like lying down - I HATE that). Massah says it's because the girls are terrified of my shriek, but I like to think it's because I am so very good training the girls to do my bidding. 3) I no longer have to go outside like the other dogs when we practice "heeling" (I still haven't figured out what they mean by that...) and instead I get to go to a huge gym where people scratch my chin for hours on end. That one was pretty difficult to establish - I had to work hard on my "the blood is freezing in my veins and I can't move at all please help me!!!" face for a long time before they finally caught on to that one. 4) I have taught the trainees to play a form of bitey-face with me that they find immensely amusing. So amusing, in fact, that they would rather do that than make me sit by their side for no apparent reason for hours on end. Woot!

And now on to some not-so-good news: 1) I am known as "The Crack Whore" because I will do ANYTHING for a treat. I do not find that nickname funny or cute in any way whatsoever. 2) The trainees told Massah that I do not behave sometimes. CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY WOULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!?! Jeesh. Just because I get tired at the end of the day and don't want to respond to any kind of command, I get stereotyped as the bad dog. I am offended. And lastly, 3) I am being forced to do things I do not want to do. And all because they offer me treats for doing it. I can not even tell you what I've done - I've "sat" on command, I've "stayed" (granted, for very short periods of time), I've "come" like some kind of robotic machine with no brain of its own... all because they offer me baby carrots. I'm ashamed of myself. But I'll do it again for another baby carrot....

Sigh. I only have two more weeks of work. I can make it.

19 comments:

ChaChi Lu said...

Tad,

Sounds like you are training them well. I am so amazed that you get a RUG outside! Wow. Babs is trying to find boots for us. Our feet are so cold! But now I WANT A RUG!

I still think Petra looks like a super fun friend!

~ChaChi LU

Peanut said...

How neat about the rug. Sometimes you just have to do things for treats. It isn't fun but it has to be done. haha that rhymed

Ruby Bleu said...

WOW...that sounds intensive, but it sounds like you've got the situation well under control. You are doing a GREAT job!

A bad dog...they have no idea what they are talking about! After a long day who can possibly listen anymore. And 'crack whore' that is just not nice!!!

So when work is over...are you retiring or going to have another job?

Oh and the 'come clean' thing. Tad know, that yes, Petra is very cute, but we will ALWAYS love you!!!

Lots of Licks, Ruby

Frasier said...

Hi Tadpole
They are kidding right....bad dog !!They must be mistaken !
I am so glad that you have trained the people there.Now you have to train us on techniques!!!
Frasier

Asta said...

Tad
To me yousound like a vewy hawd wowking good dog! and you awe twaining hoomans to do youw bidding..what could be bad about that...I saw on Ruby's blog that you'we coming to my pawty...but ummmTad maybe you should tell me too????
smoochie kisses
Asta

2shibas said...

Holy crap, Tad. Is this a "job" or did you accidentally enlist yourself in the Marines? Granted, it sounds like you skipped boot camp and went straight to being drill seargent, but STILL! That's a lot of work! Hang in there!

xo,
Wiley & Fievel

Joe Stains said...

Having a job sounds tiring and somewhat demeaning, I think I will just stay home. What have you bought with your earnings?

Grammie said...

Carrot whore sounds more like it. Then again I believe we all have our own form of crack. Some are more legal than others. Keep up the good work. You are lucky they don't understand beign neglect since the screeching bothers them. Are you getting a paid vacation.

Lorenza said...

Hi, Tad.
Sure you are doing a great job! I want to hear you screaming loud!
What are you going to do when you finish this job? Get another one?
Have a good night
Lorenza

Harry said...

Are your screams really blood curdling then? Sounds like you are doing well Tad. I too have selective hearing!

Toodle pip,
Harry x

Amber-Mae said...

Ooooh, so you go for OB classes, I see...Oh wow, I would LOVE to lie down on a cold wet grass, woohoo! Feels good. You should wear a coat coz you're hairless, ahem. Two more weeks for you? I know you can do it Tad! My OB trials is next week & I gotta wok harder everyday!

Love licks,
Solid Gold Dancer

Petra said...

So that's the problem. You are overworked and underpaid and misunderstood and mistreated and under tremendous stress.

You probably even think that the Company sent me to Motch's house to add to your torture.

Ferndoggle said...

Hi my BFF Tadople!! I *thought* I heard you screaming. I was a little worried but now I know why. It's all part of your master training plan. You're so smart.

Bad Dog means "The coolest, most smartest Dog in the world". That's my definition anyway!

LSB

Asta said...

Tadpole
O'm sowwy you couldn't post on my Bloggie..i thought you didn't like me anymowe..boy do I have egg on my face..sowwwy!!!!!
OF COUWSE YOU CAN COME TO MY PAWTY..I WOULD BE VEWY HAPPY IF YOU DID!!!
see you thewe
smoochie kisses
Asta

Luckie Girl said...

Wow, working life seems really really tough. I am glad I don't need to do any work.
Have you decided on your next career move after this is over?

Stanley said...

Tadman!

I've been wondering about your work. It sounds like you've accomplished quite a lot with your trainees. Don't worry about the "crack whore" reference. All employees tend to tease their bosses and give them very unfavorable nicknames. If they call you that to your face, it's only proof that they really like you.

Please keep us posted on the situation with Fig and with Petra. Just what's going on there?

Goober love,
Stanley

Balboa & Mommy said...

How could they call you a bad dog and a "crack whore" how horrible. They need to be taught a lesson!!!!!

Frenchie SNorts
Balboa

Randi said...

Oh Tadpole..sounds like you need a vacation! YOU WORK TOO HARD!

Love & Licks,
Randi

wally said...

Tad,

You are the best trainer EVER. I need to bring you in for a refresher course for my ape.

And I have also been called the crack whore. I was similarly not amused.

wally.