Tadpole's Life Pond

my girl is so lucky

2010-07-18T17:57:00.000-07:00

Sometimes Mean Sister Fig and I can't wait until my girl gets done washing her face and brushing her teeth to fall asleep. And on nights like that (okay, every night) when she comes in, this is what she sees. We like to get the bed all warm and ready for her....

my summer days:

2010-06-04T14:21:00.000-07:00

I love sleeping in the warm sun....

masculine aria

2010-05-24T16:52:00.001-07:00

I just realized this is my 285th post and I have never shared my singing with you! That's probably because I don't do it very often, but every once in a while it just comes out. As you'll see, Mean Sister Fig does not appreciate my beautiful (and yes, VERY HIGH) voice, but just ignore her. My girl starts it out, and then I take over. Enjoy! (And turn down your volume.)

I'm all clean

2010-05-20T15:24:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures from the car ride home from the prison grooming shop:

My girl wants to know why they called me a "feisty little thing" because I'm usually pretty laid back and don't make a fuss. But I'm not telling her what I did or why they came up with that name.

this is above beyond what is called for!

2010-04-30T18:53:00.000-07:00

As a punishment for the following crime:

(making the pee-pee on Leah's bed)

I am being TAKEN TO PRISON!!!!! I have to go to the maximum securities prison to get my sparse hairs washed and my tender little nails cut on Tuesday!!!!! This is CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT!!!!!!!!!!

most glorious, stupendous, spectacular present ever

2010-02-05T14:36:00.000-08:00

OHMYDOG I couldn't WAIT to for my girl to get home from work yesterday because look what came in the mail for me:

It was a package from Stanislaw and his mom!!!!! I wanted my girl to stop taking pictures so I could SEE WHAT WAS INSIDE!

My nasty face did the trick and she began the unveiling! I had some difficulty, as you will see. I actually didn't quite know how it was supposed to work, but with the help of my girl we got it accomplished.

Stan knows how to flatter a man - look at my important title on the card!

I was hoping for a side of beef, since he IS the master feaster, but alas, there was not any raw meat stuffed in there. However, there was a PICTURE of some meat, which was almost just as good! He even drew my attention to it. Mmmm.... yummy!

AND LOOK AT WHAT HE SENT ME!!! Notice how I SMELLED him (and Big Pupi too) on it....

IT IS A SWEATER!!! A HOME-MADE SWEATER STAN'S MOM MADE ESPECIALLY FOR ME BECAUSE BOTH STAN AND I LIVE IN FRIGID TEMPERATURES AND HE WANTED TO HELP ME STAY WARM IN THE SNOWY COLD! JUST LOOK AT IT!

Now for this next video I need to offer an explanation in advance. If you noticed in the last video I kept looking to the side; that was because Petra was in the other room and was not allowed in because I was opening my present and she would have barged in and ruined it for me. She was mad that she was excluded and therefore began whining and crying and chirping back there. I didn't know what was going on and wondered it something was amiss, so in this video I wanted my girl to hold me and reassure me everything was okay. So while I might not look like I am excited about putting on my gift, please believe that I was... I was just concerned at the same time.

And this morning I jumped for joy when my girl pulled it out. I jumped and twirled and bounced and ran around because I was so excited! I LOVE IT!!! I'm going to post a bunch of pictures of me in it because it looks so handsome on me and it is so warm and cuddly and fits so PERFECTLY (which is difficult for my clothing) and it is my favorite present ever in the history of my life and maybe even the life of my girl too.

In that last one I was waxing poetic through song about the wonderousness of my new sweater. I think maybe my favorite part is the high neck - it keeps my long naked neck extra warm in the cold. I've never had a turtle-neck sweater before, but Stan's mom should patent that for dogs! But did you notice something EXTRA special about it?!?!?!?!?!?! Look at this close-up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did you see it?! THERE ARE CARROTS AND LETTER "T" ON THERE FOR MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OHMYDOG I LOVE CARROTS AND THE LETTER T IS THE BEGINNING OF MY NAME - TADPOLE POMEGRANATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stan and his mom are the BESTEST BESTEST BESTEST in the whole world!

I will leave you with a video of me doing my most favorite thing in the world with my new most favorite present in the whole world: Cuddling on my girl's lap, licking the air repeatedly for no apparent reason, and looking handsome and manly and warm in my new sweater. There is NO WAY THAT LIFE CAN GET BETTER THAN THIS, FOLKS:

Stanislaw and Stan's mom: Thank you from the bottom of my heart. This is the most perfect present EVER! I love it!

surprise

2010-02-04T17:50:00.000-08:00

Well something drastic has happened, and I had nothing to do with it, but I am the LUCKY RECIPIENT of it! It's a secret, so you'll have to wait until tomorrow (when my girl gets the pictures loaded), but it's awesome!

booooring

2010-01-23T17:24:00.000-08:00

We have been doing NOTHING over here.... My girl says she hasn't felt well in a long time, but that is no excuse. However, it has made for some nice one-on-one cuddle/snuggle time.

Hope things liven up soon, or something drastic may happen. If it does, I am saying in advance that I had NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

happy holidays, one and all

2009-12-27T16:21:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas, everyone! I am a little late, but I've been busy! Here is a photo montage of Christmas Eve and morning.

I KNEW one of these should be for me... and Petra found the one!

Ohmydog - it's a SANTA CLAUS STUFFIE!

And LOOK WHO tried to steal if from me? But I wouldn't let it go.

But then I got tired and stole lots of snuggle-cuddles from peoples.

The Boy, Massah-in-law, my girl, and the list goes on....

I saw some CARROTS on the counter in this one!

Well, lookie here. Motch got all three of us in ONE photo, looking at the camera! Woot!

And you will NOT believe this one!!! Some human child got in MY CRATE and stole MY BONE!!! And on Christmas Eve, too!!! I'll have to explain this one later....

cruel and unusual

2009-12-10T15:13:00.000-08:00

I was going to make a post about how it is NOT TRUE that I leave "puddles and droppings" around the house and am therefore banished to my jail whenever people leave. I also was going to say that any "bad tricks" that Petra is learning are NOT FROM ME. However, something else came up that I need to complain about. Guess how cold it is here.

30? no....

20? no....

10? no....

IT IS NEGATIVE TWENTY FIVE DEGREES BELOW ZERO HERE! Windchill wise, that is. Look at what my poor little feetsies have to subject themselves to at 5:45 in the morning!

This is what my girl sees when she tries to get me to go out there. Sure, I may peek out at her with one eye, but I AM NOT THAT STUPID, MASSAH!

But then she makes me get up and drags me out there. When we come back in we both look like this - frozen blue from the COLD!

I am just going back under the covers.

I'm BAAAAACK!

2009-12-01T17:24:00.000-08:00

My little tiny auntie started posting again and now so must I... else I be left behind!

(Actually, she's not little tiny any more - HA! She is a PUDGY POT PIE!!! Although she's already lost one pound since we moved in... I have that effect on other dogs apparently - Fig's lost almost 10 pounds since I came into her life!)

But as you've probably heard, we are ALL at Motchie's house for the moment. I think it's GRRRRREAT! My girl isn't nearly as excited to move back home as Fig and I are, for some reason. Oh well. We will probably be here until after the new year, until we hear if Massah will stay at the prison she works at now or if she will transfer to a different one. I think we should stay right here with Motch and P.A. and Petra and Massah-in-law and The Boy FOREVER AND EVER AMEN! Yes. But that's all I really have right now. So I'll leave you with some pictures. This collection is entitled "Poley and Friends" and was collected on Thanksgiving 2009.

"Sibling Rivalry Takes A Break"

"What Does NO TURKEY Mean?

"See My Tongue"

"Beautiful, Innocent, Masculine Angel of Light"

I can't wait to catch up with everyone! :-)

news of me

2009-09-30T17:12:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to let everyone know that I am okay (and Fig and Petra too) and we are just in a transition phase right now, apparently. I've heard rumblings about moving and changes and such, so I am waiting patiently until everything calms down and we can hopefully get back to blogging (soon!). Massah-in-law has also been putting things in boxes and getting stuff together, so I don't know what's going to happen with her either - no one tells me anything! But here's a picture of us together (from today).

Hope to talk to you soon!

qui est'il?

2009-08-25T15:46:00.000-07:00

I am on a roll with my posts - THREE in one week! So I'm going to keep going, even though I have nothing to say, really. But I'm going to play Ike's "How'd you get your name?" game. Here's the newest picture of me, though. Taken approximately 120 seconds ago:

Now. Tadpole Pomegranate. My girl wasn't planning on getting a dog when she first saw me. But once she saw my adorable, sweet, innocent, endearing face she couldn't say no. Actually, it was probably the urine-soaked house and pitch black basement that swayed her judgement, but whatever. Now, she carries a list of possible doggin names around in her head at all times (apparently she must be prepared in case a nameless pup stops her on the side of the road and asks for her assistance in choosing a moniker) and once we were in the car she started going through them. Evidently I wasn't a Pea Pod (that was - and still is - her favorite). Or a Belly. Or a Butter. Or any of the others (which were mostly girl names - she never considered getting a boy... she didn't want to deal with the hanging stuff). And then TADPOLE came out. *shrug* I'm sure it didn't have anything to do with the fact that I was pale, skinny, naked, pointy, and wiggly/wormy. When Motch saw me, she came up with Pomegranate. If my girl would have thought of that in the car before she named me, I probably would be Pomegranate. But it was TOO LATE. I was Tadpole. Tadpole Pomegranate. AKA the Little Naked Chinese Man. AKA Taddy-wack. AKA T-Pole. AKA Poley. And numerous others. As I leave you, please enjoy the out-takes of my photo shoot today (titles under the photos):

"pfffthbbllaaaaaah"

"frightening eye"

"all scrunched up and nowhere to look"

"seduction"

"nostrils"

passing it on

2009-08-22T12:13:00.000-07:00

Remember this mess, I mean my SCENE OF BEAUTY?

Well guess who took lessons?!

It's my lovely little Aunt Petra! And boy does she learn quickly! We went over to visit her today because Motch and P.A. are gone, and look what we found!

Alas, it wasn't the cotton-y shredability of tampons, but it sure looked fun!

She of course showed a broken spirit and contrite heart and apologized profusely. In her own way.

Can you see her honest remorse?

We even took a video of her showing her sorrow for her destruction, just in case Motch doesn't believe her:

Take it from me: She will never do this again.

Truly. She is sorry.

VERY SAD POST - IT MADE MY GIRL CRY! (but he is okay)

2009-08-20T17:23:00.000-07:00

BRITAN'S UGLIEST DOG ATTACKED

Police in Cambridgeshire are appealing for information after Mugly - who won the Britain's Ugliest Dog title in 2005 - was apparently set upon by a gang.

The Shitzu-Chinese Crested cross was rescued by a passer-by who chased off the thugs, who were allegedly seen hitting it with a stick and kicking and punching it.

The local lady recognised the practically hairless cat-sized dog from missing posters that owner Bev Nicholson, 46, had put up in the neighbourhood in Peterborough, Cambs.

He had escaped from a ground-floor window at home on Thursday and was missing.

"They had pulled out a little tuft of hair he had on his neck," said Mrs Nicholson. "It was the only hair he had and they even managed to take off one of his eyebrows. I can't even work out how they would have done that.

"It's not like people carry scissors or a shaver around with them."

Mrs Nicholson, who has four children and is a support worker for dwarf actors, added: "I was worried sick about him.

"He'd never gone missing before and you worry about letting him out because of what he looks like and the fact he's so friendly.

"You just can't think why these people would do such a horrible thing. Part of me thinks they might not have even realised that he was a dog because of him having no hair so they just bullied him.

"It's horrible because he loves people so much he probably thought it was just a game and all they were interested in was hurting him.

"He was really shaken and cowered in to me when he got back to me. He was swollen and bruised around his face and rear end."

Adela Navarro, a local vet, said: "He had a few cuts and was bruised and a little shaken up."

I don't know what's sweeter/sadder/most cute - that his mom works as a support worker for dwarf actors, that "he probably thought it was just a game," or the fact that they pulled out "the only hair he had." WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?!?!?!?!? It makes me sick to my stomach. Show some love to us nakedies!

Contemporary Art 101

2009-08-17T17:29:00.000-07:00

OMD - look what my girl found when she came home tonight!!!

She was speechless with admiration.

This took me all day to complete, and I am very proud.

I unwrapped and dissected them by the table, in my girl's room, in leah's room, in front of the fireplace, and right here on my bed by the door. I like to look out the window and shred the cotton at the same time.

Can you hear how impressed she is?!

I may look a little guilty, but believe you me, I am PROUD of myself!

I think Fig was a little more cautious in her expectations of my girl's approval....

But all in all I think it turned out well!

my shame....

2009-07-29T17:13:00.000-07:00

It has been so long since I've posted anything, my girl almost forgot how to sign in!!! Can you believe it?! I can... she's not always the driest match in the matchbox (see what I mean - what does that even MEAN?). She has not taken any pictures of me for about 6 months, but I will try to appease your voracious appetites for my manliness with my latest photos:

OMD!!!!! I don't have any photos to share!!!!!

I am SOOOOO embarrassed....

my sister, my hero

2009-06-24T18:19:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is The Boy's birthday (the big 2-4!) but we're celebrating tonight. And by "celebrating" I mean everyone is eating delicious grilled meat, fresh fruit, and delectable cake EXCEPT US. But, ladies and gentleman, this is how to take advantage of the situation in front of you.

Impressed? Watch and learn....

Isn't she the best?! I was so amazed that I couldn't even join in; I just stood and observed her genious. Next time, though, I'm DIVING IN TOO!!!

tadpole's pond

2009-06-04T15:23:00.000-07:00

I have finally retrieved some of the pictures off the camera and finally got the computer, so I can finally share some of them with you! I will start with my pond, since that is a re-occuring theme in the Googley searches:

I like to go out there and let the wind blow in my hair sometimes.

There are interesting things in my pond, which I will show you later. However, there is also TERROR.

I KNOW!!! That is TADPOLE TERROR, I can tell ya! I can't even show you what it was... it was THAT scary. Many times I just sit back and enjoy from a distance.

stay tuned for more, less terrifying adventures!

hold on....

2009-05-12T16:36:00.000-07:00

My dogness - this weekend I spent a lot of time researching for my readers, and I found a lot of interesting stuff (including the fact that there are FISHES in my ponds but I am NOT ALLOWED to eat them!) but alas, our camera isn't working. So I have to ask you to hold on and keep your interest high as we try to figure things out....

have a look-see

2009-05-06T18:28:00.000-07:00

Mean Sister Fig was VERY naughty, but nobody is telling her how naughty she is because they are too excited about the fact that she is still ALIVE, apparently. Whatever. That's favortism if you ask me; I bet I would get in trouble anyway. And I was neglected during all that excitement too. I kept jumping up on Massah but she didn't even LOOK at me. BUT. Guess what?! OTHER people were looking for me! These are different ways people found my blog using Google and Yahoo and such:

"tadpole terror"
"tadpole pond care"
"peeing pond boy"
"tadpole food in outside pond"
"tadpole life"
"pond tadpole"

OMDOG! Those searches are all about ponds, and I have a pond in my backyard! And FOOD! I love food! And LIFE! I live a life every day! And peeing! I can do a REALLY good big-boy pee-pee by now! And terror! What is that?! My goodness - there is so much information I have to provide for my public.... I must start researching. By the end of the week I will have answers for all of these! Ya'll come back now, ya hear?

Ending note:
Now I know that Mean Sister Fig was sick and I was worried about her (to a limited extent... my brain is only so big) so don't worry - I was empathetic and compassionate. But it's still nice to know that people are searching the internets to find ME!

I am a good distraction

2009-04-14T18:05:00.000-07:00

My girl is still debating what to do about the little Teddy Bear, but she is so distraught that I had to distract her from the dispair. I came up with a good plan to! Here's the evidence:

Well, what do you know... a Cadbury egg!

What's that? It looks like someone stole it off the coffee table and bit a hole in the wrapper and nibbled an entry into the chocolate and then carefully licked all the filling out of it?!

Couldn't be! Because that is NOT a piece of melted chocolate in my beard that Massah took a picture of and drew a circle around.

Okay, fine - but it was SO GOOD and I can't leave it alone now!

But I am handsome! My girl can't be mad because I am so handsome and manly!

we want to puke

2009-04-13T15:24:00.000-07:00

My girl is VERY ANGRY and it is NOT at me! Petra posted a little bit about Teddy/Timmy on her blog, and I've decided to give Massah a chance to get her frustrations out here.

She works with a lady (she is VERY tempted to give out this woman's name and address so everyone can mail her some poo) who recently got a dog for her grandchildren. They got the dog two months ago, and ever since he arrived (they named him Timmy), my girl has heard all about how he pees and poops all over the house and no body takes care of the dog and no one pays any attention to him and how much she hates him and wants to get rid of him. She had hinted a few times that she would like to get rid of him, but on Friday after work, she said she wanted to give him away. When my girl got home, she told her parents (Motch) and they thought it might be a nice time for our Grammy to get someone to love (Grandpa's funeral was one month ago Saturday). When my girl and Motch showed up *just to visit Timmy* they handed the dog over, along with him crate, his travel taxi, his food, toys, chews, and treats, and told them to leave with the dog. After spending Friday night and Saturday morning/afternoon with him, it was very clear that little Timmy didn't know his name (after two months!) didnt' recognize the words "outside", "potty", "bathroom", "go" or any other words that he should have recognized in his first week. While Massah was at Grammy's house with Timmy (who Grammy re-named Teddy because he looks like a sweet little teddy bear, and they didn't teach him his name anyway), Motch callede with former owners to give them an update. The girl told my mom she wanted the dog back. Sobbing like a spoiled little child. My girl was SO ANGRY that she couldn't even go to drop Teddy off - Motch and P.A. had to do it themselves. She is still sick to her stomach that little Teddy had to go back there, where he will be neglected and his needs abandoned. My girls says that those people should be shot, and she cries when she thinks about him, sitting there patiently waiting for some attention and not getting any, getting more and more confused and wondering what he's done wrong, and getting yelled at for doing what he has learned to do to survive. And this is just an rambling post because she can't think straight. We'll end with pictures of Teddy and Grammy. He is a cutie. I hope a miracle happens and he somehow finds someone to love him like he deserves. (excuse the quality - she forgot the camera and had to use her phone)

He was quite comfortable as soon as he got into her lap, and pretty soon he laid his head in her hand and settled in for a nap.

easter!

2009-04-10T15:21:00.000-07:00

I am a little naked Chinese man again... here is all my back hair that Massah clipped off:

If anyone would like to rent the Tadosaurus, please let me know 4 months in advance so that I can start growing my back hair. Moving on, look what arrived at our house!

Ohmydog - it is a candy bouquet for ME!!! Yummy!

And my girl said, "No, no, Taddy Wack! That is NOT for you!" Apparently it is our "prop" for our Easter photo, and will then be making the trip to Motch and Petra's house for Easter Sunday. Well fine. But I will only pose for ONE picture with Mean Sister Fig, though.

I know it is a very bad picture, but it's Massah's own fault. If she would have only let me eat several of those little tiny candies, then I would have posed nicely all night long. As it was, I tried to sneak some when she turned her back. I think Fig told on me, though - look at her nasty, tattle-tale face back there.

Happy Easter, everyone!

noises

2009-04-01T17:08:00.000-07:00

I did something tonight for the first time ever. This happened after Massah and Mean Sister Fig LEFT WITHOUT ME for a walk around the lakes - I have never been so sad in my entire life:

It doesn't matter that Massah and I took a trip by ourselves to the dog park earlier. They are not allowed to leave without me.... *sniff*

Leah didn't help me; she just laughed quietly to herself. Finally I wore myself out and had to lay down on Leah's stomach to mourn.

Oh, woe is me....

WARNING:

2009-03-24T17:04:00.000-07:00

THIS POST IS RATED "R" FOR INTENSE SCENES OF SUSPENSE AND TERROR.

I was going to put a movie up, but the live-action might be too much for many viewers. Instead I have captured stills of the event and will share them with you. But you have been warned.

Scene One:
A ferocious stegosaurus sits, patiently awaiting its prey.

Stock photo of stegosaurus for additional information, in the name of science.

The camera moves in, highlighting the dangerous tongs covering the dinosaur's back.

Scene Two:
A pathetic monkey-faced canine aimlessly stands among the foliage, hoping for food to drop into her mouth.

Easily bored (a clear sign of lesser intelligence) she lies down, utterly unaware of any impending danger.

Scene Three:
The feared stegosaurus shoves its legthal plates into its chosen victim's face.

The unsuspecting victim slowly lifts her head, eyes widening as she takes in the full extent of the terror that is staring her down.

*flashing lights and buzzers sounding*
TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR! TERROR!

She faints, her miniscule brain unable to handle her feelings of horror and helplessness.

If you see this face, BEWARE. He may be prowling around your neighborhood, hunting down his next victim.

Unless Massah decides to clip my back hair. Then Taddy, the Little Naked Chinese Man, will be back.

Happy St Patrick's Day

2009-03-17T17:03:00.000-07:00

Massah decided she wanted to get a nice picture of me sleeping on her lap to post for St Patrick's Day....

I was even wearing green! But then this happened:

And then this:

And OMD this!

I thought my tongue would NEVER stop coming out!!!

My gracious - I need to learn to control this thing! We never did get a nice shot. We had to settle for this one:

Happy blurry and distorted St Patty's Day, everyone!

3-7-2009

2009-03-08T15:16:00.000-07:00

Grandpa went Home last night at 11:12pm.

We all miss him. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers for all our family (Petra too!) during this time.

lovely and silly

2009-02-13T15:53:00.000-08:00

As you've probably seen on Petra's blog, our Grandpa is sick. :-( That's why we haven't been around as much; but we're hoping to eventually get back to a regular blogging and reading scheudule. In the meantime, I have been busy doing the 2 things I do best - looking handsome and manly, and making my girl smile. Here I am doing the former:

And now the latter:

To be perfectly frank, I think I look handsome and manly in ALL of them....

bored and lonely

2009-01-28T15:20:00.001-08:00

Well Leah was gone all last week, so this is what we did:

We laid in front of the fireplace on our girl, patiently waiting for Leah to return. Hopefully our days will liven up again soon!
If you can see that scar on my girl's lip below her nose, that is from where I bit her.... Bad Tadpole. But now she will always carry a memory of me with her wherever she goes.

snow!

2009-01-14T14:29:00.001-08:00

My girl had a snow day today! We got a a few inches!

We didn't stay outside too long. (there was a dog outside earlier, that's why Fig and I kept smelling the footprints)

I always want to play when we come inside, but Fig would rather eat the snow from Massah's shoes. Boo.

I think my girl should stay home every day!

it wasn't me

2009-01-09T15:00:00.000-08:00

I am VINDICATED! ABSOLVED!! EXPUNGED!!!

Remember last post?! Well look who was REALLY reponsible for the peppermint stick!!!!

MY SISTER! (who is now sick!) HA HA!

I am remaining silent about the other incidents....

naughty me

2009-01-08T15:42:00.001-08:00

I think I've crossed the line and my girl has had enough. First I ate some of these:

Then I helped myself to a few of these:

Then I stole this (a BIIIIIG one!):

And there was another "food incident" that I don't remember exactly. But the point is, I think Massah is sick and tired of me! Why do I think that? Well, look at this:

What's wrong with that? Here, look at the hanger it came on:

And the tag!

OHMYDOG! She is trying to turn me into a Boston Terrier, like my sister!!! We look exactly alike now!

I am not happy about this! (neither is Fig, if you look at her face in the previous picture.) This is what I think about it:

And this!

And finally this!

I am innocent!

2009-01-01T18:19:00.000-08:00

I just want Grammy to know that I had NOTHING to do with this!

I'm not even in either of the pictures, so how could I possily be involved?!

good times

2008-12-26T16:39:00.000-08:00

Just a few quick pictures of our Christmas!

Massah was happy we got this shot.

Not my present, of course (I didn't get any) but I managed to steal this one!

Scavaging for more.

My Christmas cuddle (I was lucky...).

My new fuzzy blanket! (okay, it's Massah's, but I'm sure she'll share)

Hope yours was great, too!

enjoy!

2008-12-25T18:10:00.000-08:00

However you celebrate, have a happy holiday!

We're thankful for all of you,
Hannah, Fig, and Tad

hiding my face

2008-12-22T17:26:00.000-08:00

You've heard "don't bite the hand that feeds you"? Well I didn't. I bit the face that was going to take the food away.

Yes, I did.

And yes, it's less than a week before Christmas. Massah said I am not getting ANYTHING for Christmas and I may be on the Naughty List for the rest of my life. She warned me to not even expect a Christmas cuddle or kiss. And I think she means it; this happened on Friday and she hasn't kissed me since.

Please don't think badly of me. Massah keeps telling herself that it's because I used to have to fight for my food, but she's getting tired of trying to convince herself of that. I promise not to do it again - as long as I never get a bone again!

For the details:
I was lying on the bed, eating a bone that I stole from Fig, when Massah came over to me. She bent over and kissed the top of my head, but I knew that she was going to take the bone away, so I STRUCK. And bit her. Two big bites and a few smaller scratches. I was in the literal and figurative dog house for quite a while. Still am in the figurative dog house, to be frank. I don't even know how to BEGIN making this right.... Any ideas on how to apologize? (Besides vowing not to poo in the house? I don't think I could give that up....)

"i'm sorry" isn't cutting it....

2008-12-21T11:11:00.000-08:00

I'm lacking Christmas cheer

2008-12-20T15:48:00.000-08:00

I have been a VERY BAD BOY (which has nothing to do with my pooing in the house...) and am currently banished from any kisses from Massah. I don't know if I can bring myself to confess my sin to you all. But while I'm working up my courage, you can bring my spirits up by voting for Post Of The Month at the Bone Zone - I was nominated for my Bad Sweater post. And here I am, looking angelic and innocent and sweet and kind and good and like a doggin who would never bite anyone.

ACK!

2008-12-10T15:45:00.000-08:00

Look at this! Leah is CHEATING me!!!

I KNEW I smelled something on Fig's breath when she crawled into bed late at night! Leah was feeding her BONES while I was peacefully sleeping! I found Leah's garbage and was just nosing around when I found this! It is DISGRACEFUL!

bad sweater! BAD sweater!

2008-11-29T17:23:00.000-08:00

I had a slight accident on the way to Motch and Petra's tonight. I was making big-boy pee-pee on my bush, and some it got onto my sweater (perhaps I lost my balance a little bit). When we got to Petra's house I had to take it off because no one wanted to hold me with a big-boy pee-pee filled sweater. However, I was shaking and shivering without it! So Massah pulled one of Fig's old sweaters out of a drawer. I was horrified!

It is a GIRL'S SWEATER!!! With tassels!!!

Not manly at all! (look how far my tail is down!)

BUT - this is the WORST part. Guess who DID like it?!?!

Did you see her drag me around?!?! All over the room and under the bed and around corners?!?! Oh my dog. Someone save me.

Please!

it's my favorite time of year...

2008-11-22T14:30:00.000-08:00

Time to RUIN CHIRSTMAS PICTURES!!! Here are some of my masterpieces from today:

The last second twist-and-lick is always a classic!

And OMD - I had to show you a close-up of my face in this one!!!

Ha ha ha! Oh how I love Christmas time!

keeping warm

2008-11-17T17:44:00.000-08:00

This weekend was pretty boring, but I did get a new sweater to keep me warm this winter. I really wasn't in the mood for posing and modeling, however. These are the only photos I would allow:

She also tried a video:

But I was willing to give kisses!

And one frame that could, on a bad day, be considered acceptable (mainly because it shows my beard!):

c'est moi

2008-11-13T16:29:00.000-08:00

Hello my friends! I apologize for my recent absence. It's my girl's fault of course. But you don't need to yell at her - I've already done that and Fig's chimed in (loudly) too.

Unfortunately I don't have anything exciting to share. Petra had her Gotcha Day this week... she put up pictures of her celebration. And despite what it look like, I was a PARTY ANIMAL - believe me. I got all crazy and was off the chain. Motch just caught me at the end of my caffeine high. And in case you forgot what I look like, here I am. My beard is growing out and I'm not letting Massah come near me with the scissors.

I hope to catch up with everyone soon; hope you're all staying warm!

VOTE!

2008-11-02T15:27:00.001-08:00

OMD the big day is almost here! I'm going to show you my Halloween costume soon, but FIRST I have to remind you: Tuesday is Election Day!

That means it is your opportunity to vote for Joe Stains and me, Tadpole Pomegranate!

Mean Sister Fig and I have been out canvasing the area, going door to door:

Putting signs up all over:

And answering questions from our constituents. What's that you ask?

Why yes, Joseph Stains and I will most certainly make it mandatory for everydog to get as many treats as they want, whenever they want!

Come on - who DOESN'T want that?! VOTE!!!

I'm all grown up

2008-10-29T17:27:00.000-07:00

OMD did I show you guys my big-boy pee pee yet? This is me at the dog park this summer! You can't see it very well, but that's okay... not only did I make big-boy pee pee, but I made it on a toy! And it wasn't even MY TOY!!! Can you even believe it?!

It took me a while to learn how to do that, but it's So Much Fun! In this video you can see me better, but you have to put up with Mean Sister Fig for the first few seconds. Sorry. Hang in there, though... I make a GOOD big-boy pee pee towards the end!

Awesome, huh?!

7 Things Game

2008-10-24T16:32:00.000-07:00

My man Hugo tagged me a while ago and I'm finally getting it done! This was long and hard and I had to put my thinking cap on (courtesy of Stanley).

7 Things I Plan To Do Before I Die!
1. gain 30 pounds
2. get paid for my job at the prison
3. make my nails stop growing so I wouldn’t have to get them cut
4. grow my chest hair out so it drags on the ground
5. win a game of tug-of-war with Fig
6. eat my weight in poo (in one day)
7. get elected

7 Things I Do Now!
1. make big-boy pee pee
2. cuddle
3. eat baby carrots
4. pretend I don’t understand what “no” means
5. poo in the house
6. wear coats and sweaters
7. lay in Fig’s crate and lick her blankets

7 Things I Can't Do!
1. eat peoples food
2. bark like a big-boy dog
3. avoid baths
4. see out windows
5. sleep with anyone but Massah
6. ingest chapstick
7. open cupboard doors

7 Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex!
1. corduroy jackets (!)
2. small stature
3. a love for naked men
4. snuggle-lover
5. secure (to be with a slightly effeminate guy like me)
6. bicycles with baskets
7. doggles

7 Things I Say Most Often!
1. baby carrot?!
2. outside?!
3. hungry?!
4. ride in the car?!
5. FIG!!!
6. food?!
7. okay?!

7 Celebrities That I Admire!
1. Tramp
2. the Black Stallion
3. Benji
4. Pongo
5. Ariel
6. Nemo
7. Carol Channing

Now... TAG! You're it!

a big one tomorrow!

2008-10-17T17:24:00.000-07:00

It is Massha's birthday tomorrow, as Petra posted. Some doggins asked if I will be getting her a turtle for her birthday, since she was posing with one. The answer is NO. Evidently she had one several years ago named Myrtle, and she (or he, no one could never tell...) SMELLED BAD. So there you go. But here is a picture of my present:

I am giving her JOY! And truly, what better gift is there?!

important announcement:

2008-10-14T15:02:00.000-07:00

My good friend Ruby recently brought to my attention a conspiracy against me and my Vice Presidential running mate, Mr. Joseph Stains. Evidently, WE ARE NOT ON THE BALLOT!!!

SHOCKING!!!!!

So we need your help. Please tell your parents that they will have to submit write-in votes for us. I've created an example to show your humans, just so there will be no confusion. Please study the following closely:

Thank you for your cooperation,

Future President Tadpole Pomegranate

she's taking over!

2008-10-05T16:48:00.000-07:00

Hi - it's Taddy's (and Fig's) girl here; and I'm only taking over for one post. It's a sad day in our house (pathetic Cubs.... grrr) but this made me smile :-) I was taking a nap this afternoon, when I woke up to a weight on my chest. I open my eyes and what do I see? This lovely face:

Ha! After I calmed down (I was initially frightened and then uproariously amused), I grabbed my phone, which I happened to have with me. And then he got shy.

Ahhh. My little naked Chinese man makes me smile.

close you eyes and make a wish:

2008-10-04T16:04:00.000-07:00

I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish....

The CUBS would win tonight!!!!!

Okay, I'm too nervous to open my eyes back up...!

Monday television

2008-09-29T17:13:00.000-07:00

I have gotten some awards (yipee!) and I will get to them soon, but right now I'm kinda busy. We are getting ready to settle down for Monday Night Football and then Prison Break and then back to ESPN to catch up on what we missed of the Pixburg and Baltimore game while Michael and the gang look for Sylla.... It's gonna be a busy night.

I'm settling down on Massah's clean clothes fresh out of the dryer.

For some reason she won't let me sit on her chest while she's watch TV. Something about wanting to see something besides this:

Yes. I like to sit on people's chest and stare into their faces. So what?

a post

2008-09-18T18:02:00.000-07:00

I am here and I am okay! I have been visiting blogs when I've had the chance, but I haven't left comments because I don't get the computer for very long. And I obviously haven't updated my own blog. :-( Just wanted to check in and say that I miss you and I hope Tanner had a nice birthday and that Joey gets his hair back (I know what it's like to go without), and Peanut didn't eat that little dog because it's about my size and I wouldn't want to get eaten, and Lola isn't fighting with Penny, and Mack and Paris aren't drowndeded, and Pearl isn't in too much trouble for her fabulous stain, and my little Poppy doesn't injure herself trying to contort into Clover's positions, and Ruby doesn't get mobbed by all the C-A-Ts on her blog, and Stan and Pupi are doing okay without their blogging assistant (and I need to get a entry sent in), and Suki's still a cutie, and Wally's ape isn't stilll whoring around with the ASPCA dogs. And here I am almost a year ago.

I think I look the same, but apparently some of my clothes don't fit me anymore because I've grown. I say GOOD. A manly dog like me can always stand to gain a few pounds and lose a few shirts. Just look at the football fans that are on TV!

so difficult...!

2008-09-07T18:05:00.000-07:00

The lovely little Poppy Drop posted a while ago about the best places to kiss a dog. That was a thought-provoking conundrum for me, because MY favorite place to be kissed and my GIRL'S favorite place to kiss me are different. Let me illustrate. This is me favorite place for my girl to plant a big one on me, on the corner of my mouth:

However, she doesn't like to kiss me there because she says my breath smells!!! Can you believe it?!?! Jeesh! Just because I like to eat my poo shouldn't mean I miss out on kisses!!! But as a compromise, this is where she likes to give kisses:

So I don't know what to say. Is my favorite place where I'd LIKE TO get kisses, or where I DO GET kisses?

It's a hard question, no?

Taddy Wack!

2008-09-05T16:52:00.000-07:00

I think it's been 17 million years since I've gotten on here! I've got a bunch of excuses, but I know you guys and gals don't want to hear them... you want to see me, right? WELL: I don't even have any pictures to share with you - that's how awful it's been at our house. BOOOOO. So here's an old one, taken before my beard was shaved off:

There has been nothing going on anyway, even if I had updated regularly. The most exciting thing was the bug bite I got on my naked little neck where I now have a very large scab because I keep scratching it. But here are some other pictures from the archives, for your viewing pleasure. Here's a close up of me:

And here's one of me in a fort I made on Massah-in-law's bed. I like to make forts, especially when it's cold. In this picture I had just woken up, that's why I look a little discombobulated.

And one last one. A kiss for you!

shocking news - swimmers shave chests

2008-08-14T16:22:00.001-07:00

Well I was planning to take myself off to the land of my ancestors for some competition (see post below) but some things came to my attention by way of my feast-tastic pal, Stanislaw. Here he is:

Almost as handsome as I am, huh? Well, he shared some news with me. In his comment in the last post, he said -and I quote - "you won't even need to shave your chest!" WHAT?!?! Swimmers have to shave their chests?!?!

**GASP!**

Why does this bother me so much? Let me share. Those who have been around a while know how proud I am of my exceptional masculinity. Wally T. even called me the "manliest dog on the internets" which I still repeat to myself every night before I go to sleep. Anyway, one of my most masculine traits that I am particularly proud of is my CHEST HAIR! Here a picture where you can see it in all its incredible glory:

Please ignore the mullet - that's why I never let Massah near me with a scissors any more, EVER. Anyway, did you see my chest hair?!?! There are so many manly chest hairs that I cannot even count them! There's probably 5 or maybe 7 of them?! Impressive, huh?! I have given it a lot of thought, but there is just no way I can get rid of those. So with great regret I must say: I respectfully withdraw my offer of assistance to the US Olympic Swim Team. I want to apologize to Michael Phelps especially, because I know he was really counting on the boost I would have provided. But rest assured I'll be cheering him on from my couch in the corn country.

Go USA! You can do it! Even without me there!

China bound?

2008-08-11T18:07:00.000-07:00

I'm wondering if the US Olympic Swim Team needs another member...?

I'm ready!

you won't believe it!

2008-08-09T12:36:00.000-07:00

Were you watching TV last night?!?!

I was sitting around, staring at the moving picture box, when what did I see?!

Thousand of chinese men, just like me!!!

I was so proud and happy!

I think I should be over there, though - since I am a little chinese man too! How can I manage that, I wonder...?

remember me?

2008-08-07T16:00:00.000-07:00

Oh my dog - it's been so long since I've blogged! Don't worry, I'm working on creating some drama so I can have something to talk about. And here's an archive picture of me so you don't forget what I look like:

Ack! That was mean! My girl is evil and nasty... showing a picture of me after I was shaved even naked-er than I normally am! Here's a HANDSOME picture of me in my summer shirt:

I'll be back soon, and hopefully I'll get caught up on everyone's blogs/news too!

sadie

2008-07-30T15:33:00.000-07:00

One year ago today part of our heart was separated from us....

We miss her, but we know that one day we'll all be together again as a big happy family.

Plus one, because Petra's here now too. And I know Sadie probably fell off a cloud when she saw Motch with another BOSTON in the family.... We were both of the opinion that Bostons are TOO MUCH sometimes, but she'll end up loving Petra (as long as she doesn't bite her long curly ears)!

good times

2008-07-28T15:28:00.000-07:00

Thank you all for your nice words of healing comfort - I am feeling back to my normal self! So good, in fact, that Massah decided to abandon me and Mean Sister Fig and run away to Chicago for a while.

Apparently that's how exciting the Cubs game was.... But WE had excitement of our OWN with Little Miss Pretty Petty Petra Stink Pot Pie!

I cannot tell you what happened. Because I would have to pee on you and then erase your memory. But let me tell you, that's how exciting it was.

poorly

2008-07-21T16:18:00.000-07:00

Oh, my pancreas is UPSET! Angry!! MAAAD at me!!! I don't know why - I didn't do anything! This is how I feel:

If I smother Massah it makes me feel better.

Note from Massah:
It's not his pancreas this time - he now has colitis of the (IN the?) small intestine. Which I think is connected to the pancreatic duct, perhaps? Grrr. I don't know anything about it, so I'm off to google. My poor little naked Chinese man. He's so miserable. :-(

nothing much

2008-07-17T17:37:00.001-07:00

Well, we are not sad anymore. Or angry. But I have been getting neglected. Massah is working too hard and she doesn't have enough energy to do anthing when she gets home. Boo. So I've been amusing myself going my video archives and look what I found!

Can you believe she did that to me?! And I'd only been with her a couple months! Thank heavens I ruined it so fast she decided never to buy them again and to spend her money on more important things.... Like toys.

BOOOOOOOOOO

2008-07-08T16:56:00.000-07:00

We are sad. And upset.

These guys:

Got rid of one of our favorite players (among others):

WHAT in the world?!?!

This is what I think of you, CUBBIES.

When we are done mourning I'll tell you about my weekend....

happy happy joy joy

2008-07-06T18:58:00.000-07:00

We had a GREAT weekend! My girl is too lazy to post about it at this moment, but I'll show you soon! Here's a picture of how I felt all weekend!!!

Happy and excited and thrilled and beaming and wonderful and splendid!

blaaaAAAaaahh!

2008-07-01T16:24:00.000-07:00

This is what I think about BATHS:

kinda like how my aunt Petra feels:

weekend woes

2008-06-29T15:29:00.000-07:00

My girl and I were just sitting quietly, enjoying a lazy Sunday afternoon, when she took this picture of me...

And then she said "Tad - you are filthy! You need a bath!" Can you believe it?! (never mind those specks of dirt on my face)

I do not need a bath! I am so clean that the camera can't even handle my pristine white hair!

I'm okay! and so's my girl....

2008-06-24T18:42:00.000-07:00

We are all alive and well, with no more nasty things inside our bodies. As I said in my last post, I have NOT been allowed to kiss Massah. *sigh* It's been so terribly difficult. Here I am, trying valiently to hold my tongue in.... It has a mind of its own and it automatically tries to go up her nose.

This is what we've been doing - layzing around and watching way too many reruns of reality shows.

I have of course been incredibly helpful. And after sleeping approximately 65 of the last 72 hours, we are back to normal!

Whatever that means.

good and bad

2008-06-18T16:53:00.000-07:00

Although the vet'narin said nasty, NASTY things about me (like, "Tadpole does not need to gain any weight") there weren't any major problems, unless you count lack of blood because they stole a lot of that. However, my girl did not get the same response from her vet'narin; she has to have some surgery tomorrow (nothing major... she'll be home tomorrow afternoon). I only say this so you will not worry if you don't see us for a while. I'm sure she'll moan and groan for days on end and use this pathetic surgery as an excuse to avoiding helping out around the blogs. The negative: we have already been told we are NOT ALLOWED to kiss her at all tomorrow (I don't know how I'll survive). The positive: she will be stuck at home for a few days and under the influence of anaesthetic and will perhaps feed us several times a day because she won't remember if she's fed us before. Keep your dewclaws crossed!

...

2008-06-15T14:56:00.001-07:00

tomorrow will be the worst day of the year. at 5-00 pm my girl will drag me and mean sister fig to the car, only to force us to enter the dark doors of a "clinic" that will steal my blood and inject me with mysterious chemical compounds. a "doctor fraker" will poke and prod me with torture instruments, all the while speaking in a soothing tone and telling me "it's okay, taaaaadpole." men and women in lab coats will murmur quietly in the background, while other animals run back and forth past the door - are they trying to escape the horrible and painful demise awaiting them? i will smell the unique scents of those brave souls who have gone heroically before me and have.... *sigh* i can't bear to even finish that thought.

is this a new "hannibal" installment? a lost scene from "x-men"? the newest "batman" franchise? a never-before-seen scene from benjamin linus?

i don't know.

but i'm scared.

Sunday

2008-06-08T18:54:00.000-07:00

I thought Sunday was supposed to be a day of rest?! My girl evidently didn't get that memo - look at what she was doing!

She is a little late on the "spring" cleaning, but she was sure going at it today.

Since she didn't rest, Mean Sister Fig and I made sure we did enough rest for us all.

At the end of this video, you'll see another project Fig and I did together. There was CHAPSTICK in that pocket, but not any more!!!!!

oh noes!

2008-06-04T17:50:00.000-07:00

Well Leah is mad at me for chewing on her Cubs hat. And when she sees this, she'll probably be even more mad....

This was found OUT of her room, in the middle of the living room floor.

Normally I would claim no knowledge of this.

However, as you can see....

Ah-hem. I was caught.

I'm thinking of another story....

watching the Cubs

2008-06-01T14:24:00.000-07:00

While Massah was reveling in the Cub's glorious plays, I wandered into Leah's room. Look what I found after rumaging around for a while!

I was just showing support any way I could, you know?

Memorial Day

2008-05-26T13:03:00.000-07:00

Happy Memorial Day - I hope everyone says "thank you" to a vet today (the NICE kind of vet, not the nasty ones who steal your blood). We had a moment of silence for those who have served our country today, and we were all very good (Massah was shocked). And although this day is to remeber those who have lost their lives for our freedom, we also want to send a very special thank you to Massah's cousin who served, and also to Peanut and Flash's dad, who is currently overseas and not able to spend this Memorial day with his family - you're in our prayers!

What did we do to celebrate?! There are no words to describe it, so I'll show you in pictures!

Thank God I've kept my pancrease happy these last few months so I could enjoy this!!!

this is how it's supposed to be

2008-05-23T14:16:00.001-07:00

I know some of you say that sitting and sleeping on TOP of chairs and sofas is the way to go, but I don't like it personally. I have been known to fall off things, and I don't like taking that risk again. THIS is how I sleep.

(under the covers in bed)

(under the covers on my girl)

(under the covers on the chair)

(under the covers with Mean Sister Fig)

(in forts I build under the covers)

See any similarities?! I like to sleep UNDER THE COVERS!

can you believe this?!

2008-05-21T17:40:00.000-07:00

This is how I have to live! Every day!!!

She won't put the blanket on the chair like she's supposed to, so I have to climb UP on the BACK of the chair to sleep.

I think I shall be forced to call the ASPCA.

just little ole me

2008-05-14T15:23:00.000-07:00

Howdy-ho, my friends! Nothing's really happening, but since I've updated more frequently than usual for the past week or so I wanted to update again today to keep up some semblance of regularity. I did meet a new friend through little Miss Paris Rain - Stanislaw! He eats raw meat (hence the name of his blog, the bragger) and that makes me somewhat jealous, but he also loves baby carrots... so I can't help but admire him. He also reminds me of Sadie (for those who remember her) and he has a sibling he likes to annoy, so we're cool. And now for some closing pictures of me taken this morning as I was trying to wake up Massah-in-law (please notice the angelic glow about me in some of them - I don't know why she was annoyed)!

commemoration

2008-05-09T15:00:00.000-07:00

This stuffie was part of Massah's peace offering, back from when she was GONE during my birthday celebrations. The only reason it is still alive today is because she doesn't let us play with it very much. But in honor of stuffie appreciation day....

Listen to me SQUEAK!

Mary Jane Potter's Momma, this is for YOU!

2008-05-06T16:19:00.001-07:00

What?! MJ's Mom is sad?

I hope these make you SMILE!

Hope the corners of your mouth are lifted!

what you all've been waiting for

2008-05-05T12:55:00.000-07:00

I once again apologize for my lack of blogging. And once again it's Massah's fault. But I can't be too mad at her... she's a counselor at a maximum security prison, so I suppose it's stressful. And she says that when she's stressed she can't sit and take down my dictation, and since the whole lack of opposable thumbs thing, I'm left bereft.

Unfortunately I have a VERY short attention span and don't specifically remember what my press conference was supposed to be about. However, I DO remember that I was called upon to apologize for my behavior. So in order to cover all my bases, here we go:

I'm sorry for
* making poo in the house
* eating said poo so you didn't know I made poo in the house
* taking undergarments out of the drawer on a daily basis
* strewing aforementioned undergarments around the house
* stealing Mean Sister Fig's food when no one's watching
* pretending I don't understand English except for the words "food" and "treat"
* biting Mean Sister Fig (okay okay, it happened and I'm sorry)
* making big-boy pee-pee on the rocking chair
* screaming at the top of my lungs at 2:00am and causing massive heart attacks throughout the building
* making more poo in the house
* scrounging around in dirty clothes until I find chap-stick in the pockets and then eating it
* sleeping in Mean Sister Fig's spot so that she gets annoyed and angry
* eating styrofoam cups
* sticking my tongue up Massah's nose at ungodly hours in the morning
* never once obeying an order in my entire life
* taking all my toys into Leah's room so that she steps on them and yells

Well that was cathartic. Hope everyone's having a good day; Massah stayed home from work today and I'm hoping we'll get to go for another walk around the lakes. We went for one earlier and I met another Crestie! His name is Sidney Bean and he's my age and he's half Shit-Zhu but he's naked like me except he has very dark skin and brown hair and we like each other and maybe we'll have a play date some time! I'm thinking I should confess my sins more regularly and Massah should stay home from work every day and then everyone would be happy all the time!!!

HOLD ON HERE

2008-04-20T15:42:00.001-07:00

I interrupt this blog to give you VISUAL PROOF that my girl has been cheating on me!!! She said she was going to "church" this morning, but when she got back... this is what I found on her camera!!!

Who are these dogs?!?!

Her story is that she found them running on the side of the road, looking for the next mud puddle or pile of poo to roll in. She didn't want them to get hurt so she invited them INTO HER CAR and TOOK THEM TO MOTCH'S HOUSE! This is Dot the Border Collie, not to be confused with Dot-Spot the Dalmation.

And here is Shorty, who looks slightly like Wally the Corgador, except Shorty is a Basset/Beagle mix. And he unfortunately has a name that highlights his diminuative stature.

My girl was quite taken with Shorty. And he posed quite nicely for her.

I could have had fun playing with them. But supposedly we are NOT GOOD with other dogs in our territory. Thanks, Mean Sister Fig.

All is well. Our girl called their mom and she picked them up. Next time I think I need to go to "church" with her....

it's not my fault!

2008-04-11T15:52:00.000-07:00

I apologize profusely for the delay in my scheduled press conference. It is the fault of my press secretary. The picture below is us in happier times (like when she wasn't calling me BAD all the time). I do not know why we are blue. I think she was messing around with options she has no business even looking at, and accidently saved it this way.

One of my first duties as President might be to fire her and find a new one. Massah-in-law is on the computer a lot... I wonder if she would consider the job.

<<>>
Mean Sister Fig has a poll - go vote YES for me!

press release:

2008-04-08T15:24:00.001-07:00

Due to last week's allegations, I will be holding a press conference in two (or three) days. At that time I will state my feelings on the subject, as well as address any concerns brought to my attention from my constituents. If there is an issue that you would like clarified, please detail it in the comments below. Thank you. And God Bless America.

oh come ON

2008-04-05T14:09:00.000-07:00

Mean Sister Fig is just fine, so everyone can stop worrying about her. Jeesh. Her eye looks perfectly normal now.

We're FRIENDS still. And I'm thinking about apologizing.

oh boy

2008-04-03T16:45:00.000-07:00

I am a VERY bad dog. That's what Massah keeps saying over and over and over and over. I'm not particularly perturbed by the situation, but I think that makes her even MORE mad at me. This is what I did tonight:

I'm not really concerned.

The Girl here. I have never been so angry and scared and shocked in my entire life. This little buggar BIT his sister tonight. Leah was making chicken and a tiny piece fell on the floor. She of course picked it up, but Tad came over to lick the spot. Fig wandered over to see what was going on, and he started in on her. After Leah seperated them (thank goodness she didn't get bit) I immediately put Fig in a time out because she is the one who is usually crabby and more "dangerous"... but when she came out of time out her eye was swollen! Turns out I didn't look her over well enough and there were two puncture wounds abover her eye and another scratch on the other side of the eye. These are pictures I took at the vet (on my phone, so they aren't the best quality):

The thing with Tad is that he has NO EARTHLY IDEA when you are mad at him - he's completely oblivious to any kind of emotion. So I can scold him till the cows come home, but he's totally clueless. And that makes me MAD because I feel like he's not "sorry" for what he did and would do it again in a heartbeat. And it also annoys me that dogs have, like... a 30 second attention span, so I can't continue to scold him. And I know I'm being ultimately irrational but the whole situation scared me to death. Right now they're fine; Tad was ridiculously excited to see Fig when we got back from the vet. He wants to lick her to death, as usual. Fig seems totally fine with him too; she's sleeping right now (after her dose of pain killer). I just don't know that to do. I guess I was hoping he was getting better with the food issue. I know he had a tough life before we found each other and he had to scrounge and fight for food (whenever it was occasionally tossed on the ground for him and his brother) and I understand that concept was ingrained in him for survival. I don't know how to help him with that! I feed him on a regular basis and at the same times every day, hoping he would "get the picture" that food will always be around for him now. I pet and touch him while he eats. I hold his food sometimes. I take it away and give it back. What else can I do? It's been a year and a half... how long does it take? Or will I always have to watch him like a hawk?

Sorry for the rant. If anyone has any insight or suggestions PLEASE feel free to share them! I'm a little stressed right now.

groveling

2008-03-31T15:10:00.000-07:00

My girl finally came home, and she brought peace offerings with her! Look at this Orbee globe bouncing ball that I love!

And these are WONDERFUL!!! We usually don't get stuffies, but these were ON SALE, so she bought TWO of them!

Blogger is being crabby, otherwise I'd show you some videos of me playing. You'll have to come back later, I guess. Sorry - there's not even a picture of ME today!!!

Birthday!

2008-03-25T21:08:00.000-07:00

Thank you everyone for all your birthday wishes! I had a GREAT birthday! Fig wanted to go spend it with Petra so we could all be together, but I wanted to have a peaceful and relaxing day, so we stayed home and ate fantastic treats such as this frozen pumpkin filled kong!

At first I couldn't figure out how to eat it. It was too slippery! I finally managed to figure out a way to keep it secure whilst I ate the pumpkin yumminess.

Finally Leah decided to help me out and held it for me like an ice cream cone.

Oh man. It was soooooooooooooooooo good...

Tonight we visited Petra, and you won't believe what I got over there!!! Something even better than a frozen pumpkin kong! She took the pictures, so make sure you check out her blog! But for now, here's a motion picture of me in pumpkin heaven!

Thanks again for the birthday wishes!

the big T-W-O

2008-03-23T09:30:00.000-07:00

Well my 2nd birthday (what we think is my 2nd birthday, that is) is tomorrow and Massah isn't even going to be here! She's going to be away all week long for work. And she's been sick, so she hasn't even been giving me much attention. It's disgraceful. She can't even take any good pictures of me either.

What good is she, I aks you?! At least I get to stay with Leah, the sister formerly known as Massah-in-Law. Maybe she'll give me lots of CARROT cake for my birthday.... A little neglected doggie can hope.

unfair!

2008-03-13T15:34:00.000-07:00

So not only does Mean Sister Fig abandon me for that Petra girl, but also she gets me in trouble!!! And it was all her fault!!! She stole a piece of paper off the table and ripped it to shreds. I simply came over to see what she was doing... and this is what Massah sees:

I was not eating it! I was just... trying to clean up after my sister! Speaking of my sister, where was she while I was getting in trouble?

You got it. Hiding behind a garbage box. That big fat snot.

If that isn't a GUILTY FACE, I don't know what is.

here it is:

2008-03-11T16:26:00.001-07:00

As promised, the back of my shirt!

Here's a close up of the detailing:

Yeah. I look good.

Massah got it at Target, so sent your humans out there and get one. We can be twinkies! Manly twinkies, of course.

my new shirt

2008-03-10T17:57:00.000-07:00

I got a new shirt that looks like a MAN'S shirt, not one of those pastel numbers that Massah usually gets for me!

This is the front of it:

The back is wicked awesome, but Massah didn't get a picture of it!!! I'm gonna make her get her camera back out so you all can see it!

a few of my favorite things

2008-03-03T15:18:00.001-08:00

Here are some more pictures of my favorite spots in our house! This is the place where Massah puts all our toys, and then we pull them out one by one and strew them all around the house! Quite a fun game.

And this is where Massah and Massah-in-Law sit a lot to eat. That means that this is where Fig and I sit a lot to catch any falling scraps. (please ignore the black and white behemouth staring at you in this picture)

This is our fireplace where we sit every time someone turns on the fire. We spend hours in front of this glorious thing. We spend so much time there, in fact, that we have to make sure there's a blanket in place at all times and lots of toys and bones readily available.

And here are our windows! They're on either side of the fireplace so that we can jump up and bark at a moment's notice!

This one on the left we can peek our heads around, if Massah isn't in the room. She yells if she catches us doing that.

And the one on the right is pretty nice too. Can you see those cars out there? You wouldn't believe what people do to those things - first of all, they WALK OUT to them! And they're right in front of OUR house, so of course we yell and yell. And then they OPEN THE DOORS and make lots of banging sounds. So of course we yell and yell some more. And THEN they make the cars do some VAROOOM VAROOOOOOOMMMMM noises and it bothers us so much we have to yell even MORE at them. And once we yell long enough, they run away in the cars. Sometimes we have to yell a VERY LONG TIME before we scare them away. But we never give up.

And of course our dinner table. Right through those doors in the background is where our FOOD is kept. Yummmmmmmmmmm....

Every so often I have to stop by and check and see if any food has magically appeared since the last time I checked. You never know.

constant incarcerations

2008-03-02T17:09:00.000-08:00

I don't think I've shown you all our new house! (Well, relatively new... we moved in November.) I'll start with our jails, where we have to stay whenever both Massah and Massah-in-Law are gone at the same time. Something about us being "unreliable" or something....

As you can see, we have our names above our respective jails. I take comfort in the fact that I'm listed FIRST, although Mean Sister Fig has a bigger jail. (Stanley - can you see your magnet on the front of my jail?) Anyway here I am, looking devastatingly handsome, lounging on Massah's bed.

And here I am again, doing "disturbingly odd curly-ques" with my tongue.

sleepy day

2008-03-01T15:34:00.000-08:00

We tried to go to the dog park today, since it was in the mid-40's. I even put on my new shirt (you never know if Pinkie or Poppy or ChaChi Lu or Ruby or any of the other ladies might show up... even if Massah says they don't live close enough) but when we got there all we saw was MOOSH and MUD and SLUSH and MELTING SNOW and DIRT and while other pups might like that, I'm a little bit hesitant to get my little paws filthy like that. Things like that usually end in a B-A-T-H and I get enough of those already. So anyway, we came back home and are having a lazy, relaxing day.

Yes, yes you are seeing that correctly. I don't know why, but I'm sleeping between Mean Sister Fig's legs.

*shrug*

odds n' ends

2008-02-25T18:44:00.001-08:00

When I can't sleep like this:

This is my second choice. Sometimes I even hold hands with them.

I LOVE Massah-in-Law's animals that she keeps on her bed....

Oh, and in response to a question from yesterday's post, The Boy (who is responsible for the flowers) is Massah's brother. Here he is with Motch (Petra's servant):

And the flowers are still alive!!!

oooh's and ahhh's

2008-02-24T15:36:00.000-08:00

This post is for Massah. She is very proud of herself, and I'm offering a platform for her to brag. Direct your attention to the photo below:

Please note that these are from Valentine's Day... and they are STILL ALIVE!!!

I do not know how she's managed this feat, but there is visual proof.... (please ignore the odd African tribesman in the background)

OH - and Grammy, these are from The Boy, so don't get your hopes up.

not AGAIN!

2008-02-21T16:15:00.000-08:00

Well, Massah has moved into Phase Two of her ridiculous anti-poo-eating campaign. Speaking of campaigns, when I get sworn into office, I'm going to make it LEGAL and ENCOURAGED to eat poo; that'll be my first order to business. Anway, this is what she came home with today:

Some kind of "veterinary strength" evilness. I (and Fig) will begin taking it with our meals tomorrow morning. I heard this is the strong stuff, so I'm going to have some hard times ahead of me if I want to continue asserting my doggie rights of poo-eating. But I intend to succeed; it'll take more than repulsive powder on my food to stop me.

And all this on top of an injury. Just look at me:

We do not know what happened, but there is a big scratch on my neck. Boo. You'd think after looking at this, she feel so sorry for me that she'd give me a big old plate of poo.

Apparently she doesn't agree.

be still my heart

2008-02-19T15:10:00.000-08:00

Oh my dog - look at her!!!

She is Princess Pinkie ... and I have a confession to make, right here on the internets in front of everybody: I think I may be falling in love!

She is PINK (like me) and has FRACKLES (like me) and adopted her new family (like me) and wears CLOTHES (like me) and is incredibly good looking (like me) and is naturally NAKED - JUST LIKE ME!!! How could I NOT have a huge crush on her?!

Special note for ChaChi and Poppy and all the other girlies: I have not lost all my other crushes, my dears.... Here's a kiss just to prove it:

Helllllloooooooooooooo!

2008-02-18T15:09:00.000-08:00

I should be back for good, now! Massah-in-law was gone for days and days and days and she took her computer with her, so we've been internets deprived over here. But she is back (with pictures!) and I have a LOT of catching up to do! But alas, you probably wouldn't even recognize me. This morning Massah (voluntarily!!!) handed me over to a gang of thieves who then stole some of my hairs! I do not have many to start with, but look what they did!

Do you remember my lucious beard and manly chest hair? (from December)

They are now only a memory.

Why, oh why...?

poo breath update

2008-02-02T16:05:00.000-08:00

I am holding strong here, my friends. I have been taking the Potty Mouth tablets every day for a week, and I'm STILL EATING MY POO!!!!! And just so you all know, Massah is making Fig eat the Potty Mouth stuff also, and I'm still eating her poo too! Massah has now upped the dosage; we are both taking TWICE as much as when we first started - and we LOVE IT! It's our favorite snackie now!!!

Oh - and please, PLEASE do not give Massah any more anti-poo-eating ideas... I think MJ said it best when she said "What is coming of a world when a little naked Chinese man can't eat his own poop...."

Amen, sister. And thank you for the support.

Tadpole's Life Pond

my girl is so lucky

my summer days:

masculine aria

I'm all clean

this is above beyond what is called for!

most glorious, stupendous, spectacular present ever

surprise

booooring

happy holidays, one and all

cruel and unusual

I'm BAAAAACK!

news of me

qui est'il?

passing it on

VERY SAD POST - IT MADE MY GIRL CRY! (but he is okay)

Contemporary Art 101

my shame....

my sister, my hero

tadpole's pond

hold on....

have a look-see

I am a good distraction

we want to puke

easter!

noises

WARNING:

Happy St Patrick's Day

3-7-2009

lovely and silly

bored and lonely

snow!

it wasn't me

naughty me

I am innocent!

good times

enjoy!

*hiding my face*

"i'm sorry" isn't cutting it....

I'm lacking Christmas cheer

ACK!

bad sweater! BAD sweater!

it's my favorite time of year...

keeping warm

c'est moi

VOTE!

I'm all grown up

7 Things Game

a big one tomorrow!

important announcement:

she's taking over!

close you eyes and make a wish:

Monday television

a post

so difficult...!

Taddy Wack!

shocking news - swimmers shave chests

China bound?

you won't believe it!

remember me?

sadie

good times

poorly

nothing much

BOOOOOOOOOO

happy happy joy joy

blaaaAAAaaahh!

weekend woes

I'm okay! and so's my girl....

good and bad

...

Sunday

oh noes!

watching the Cubs

Memorial Day

this is how it's supposed to be

can you believe this?!

just little ole me

commemoration

Mary Jane Potter's Momma, this is for YOU!

hiding my face